You call the copse to report an orchard burglary.
You perturb the Magic Boulder.
You start a thread on the Orbiter forums about asparagus.
You build a quinerocket.
You smuggle a bottle of 99% ABV münshine aboard.
You try reticulating KSP's splines.
You duct tape The_Duck to the front of your aeroplane in an attempt to add canards.
You cook up a batch of delicious nuclear salt-water taffy.
You outsource the assembly of your rockets to a group of garden gnomes on steroids.
You see a sign "Push button for cookie" with a red button below it.
You attempt to turn off your SRBs.
You resolve to rescue all the kerbals you've stranded.
You bring the anti-mass spectrometer up to 105%.
You hire Michael Bay to be your Flight Director.
You experiment with negative spring constants as a method of propulsion.
Your campaign to incorporate more 'atomic' things into your space program meets with triumphal success; whole fleets are commissioned, and you get to pilot the first production vehicle.
You attempt to find the cactus.
You drop an LV-N Atomic Rocket Motor into Jool in an attempt to ignite it into a second star.
You launch an epic mission destined to bring the Magic Boulder back to Kerbin.
You attempt to build a gravitationally confined fusion reactor.
You attempt to cut down on weight by omitting safety precautions.
You reject traditional drugs and substitute your own.
You participate in a parkour tournament using your rocket.
You decide to glue a rocket on top of a whale.
You set SCE to AUX.
You find the petrified Philosopher's Cactus.
You attempt to fire up Zefram Kerman's newest contraption to break the speed of light.
You order a batch of LV-T30's.
Stock aero comes out.
You have the bored computer replaced with a Dell laptop.
You install Chatterer and decode the SSTV signals in the files.
You believe you can fly.
You scoff about how silly it would be to argue about which OS is better, then immediately turn around and start bickering about desktop environments.
You go back in time to save the mother of the man who defeats the robot uprising.
You invite the Myth Busters to check out if your rocket really works.
You put a plane inside your plane so you can crash while you crash.
You ignite some ammonium dichromate as an offering to the Kraken.
You land like a boss.
You write a KSP clone for the PDP-7.
You speak in faux cyrillic, just to annoy the people who speak real cyrillic.
You left food out and got space ants.
You give the flight computer a departure angle measured in degrees, forgetting that it's in radians mode.
You play Lustmord during your deep space exploration mission to give you an appropriate feeling of danger.
You jump to warp speed.
You launch a mission to redirect and/or destroy asteroid B612.
You retune your ASAS' PID controller.
In effort to increase cost-efficiency, you experiment with solid fuel-powered RCS thrusters.
You detect an unknown probe approaching Kerbin and send a mission to investigate.
You set out on your mission with nefarious porpoises in mind.
You tie puppies to a missile for "empirical testing".
You try to present your findings on a possible link between the Deep Space Kraken and the Horrorterrors of the Furthest Ring, but no one takes you seriously.
You try to fly the Aeris 4A to orbit.
You readjust Eve's mountains' angle of repose.
You search for Moho's atmosphere.
You replace your rocket's wiring with a Type III superconductor.
You build a slipgate complex.
You start singing.
You are informed of the exploitability of stock jet engines and proceed to attempt to capitalize on this discovery.
Someone asks for your help on #kspofficial.
You embark on a mission to find and capture the Mock Turtle.
Someone asks for your help on #kspofficial, but you are unable to aid them in their quest.
You make a collect call from Eeloo.
You carefully lower your periapse into the atmosphere, like a tea infuser into a samovar.
You crack bad jokes in #kspofficial.
You hold a black hole sale on black friday.
You're taking your final exam for your rocket license.
You must not misrepresent reality, you must be obedient, and you must protect your pilot.
You listen to some K-pop, where K stands for Kerbal.
You replace the Stayputnik Mk2 with a raspi.
You research the possibilities of demon summoning in the field rocket propulsion.
You hail the probe.
You find one of HarvesteR's ancient posts on a forgotten forum.
You decide to bring a 90 Kerbal base to Laythe
You experiment with dozens of small engines on your craft, EVE online style.
You spend weeks waiting for that one mod to update.
You read "Ignition!".
Virus makes a video from your KSP screenshots.
You attach a couple hundred dozen RCS ports to your space station in an attempt to spin faster.
You attempt to re-create the Orion mission and synchronise it with the real-world livestream.
Jeb uses his hips to slap a meaty bass riff.
'Murica militarizes Pluto.
You put a spaceplane into a regular plane to see whether it is somehow different from the usual metaplaning.
You attempt a Star Wars-style attack run through Dres' canyon.
A question weirdly phrased you ask.
You watch Planetes.
Poor punctuation places pronounced pressure on particular pernicious (yet patient) prattle-policing personages.
You do a Crazy Ivan to search for suclearnubs.
You taunt kmath.
You build a rocket with gumballed engines.
You build a shrine on Bop to the mighty Kraken
You fall asleep during your rocket launch.
You use Internet Explorer 6 to download something.
In order to appeal to the American mass media, you make a press release measuring your vessel in football fields.
You attempt to emulate the Russians by igniting your second stage with the first stage still attached.
You rewire the comms to play ghetto rap.
You add a mission about yourself.
You cause Quatroking to add lots and lots of missions per unit time.
You attempt to determine why Moho is no longer tidally locked.
You fly past Santa on your way to orbit.
You attempt to dock with a spinning station.
You accept a contract to test the Mk16 parachute in flight over Kerbol.
You attempt to build a Delta Glider from stock parts.
You search for Moho's lost atmosphere and mountains.
You install KSP on a pocket calculator.
You spread the flu.
You decide to go have lunch, leaving MechJeb to execute your maneuver burns unsupervised.
You throw some feces into the fan to see what happens.
You go tidal-wave-surfing.
You find cheap rocket parts on Kebay and buy them.
You decide to cut your losses by covering your ships with probe cores and plugging your kerbals into neuro-interfaces.
You torture your torque elementals with electricity to see what happens.
You attempt to build a ship in a magnetic bottle.
You convert the LV-N to burn Xenon.
In order to spite your elementary school teachers, you write in recursive handwriting instead of cursive.
You abuse sed.
You outsource the assembly of your rockets to the General Products Corporation.
You see a sign "Do NOT pull lever" with a lever below it.
You and your crew attempt to create the first adult movie filmed in space.
In a fit of hunger, you attempt to eat a porkchop plot.
You ride the umbralCamel.
Lacking better power options, you cover your rocket in Z-400 batteries.
You sleep through a lecture in the Kerbal Institute of Engineering.
You decide to bring a 90 Kerbal base to Laythe.
You search for the Mysterious Cities of Kerbin.
You equip your aircraft with small thermobaric missiles to thwart idiots with laser pointers.
UmbralRaptor commissions you to build a RaptorRocket.
Someone mentions Windows Vista.
You have no idea where you're going, but you start going there really, really fast.
You use thermite as your SRB propellant.
You code an IRC bot that counts down to real-life launches.
You attempt to make your own Mountain Dewritos.
You start wandows ngrmadly.
After making some money with your junkyard, you also start selling rocket parts.
You feed your kerbals catnip to see what will happen.
You try a propellant combination you read about on Derek Lowe's blog.
Having started a moderately successful space company, you decide manufacturing electric cars is the obvious next step.
You install a flux capacitor on your rocket in an attempt to travel back in time.
You discover an ancient Tnuctipun plush weapon.
You taunt Danny2462.
You invite everyone in IRC to try your Sausage Rocket Boosters, cooked on your hand-made poodle engine style BBQ.
You add a lot of outcomes about blast processing that nobody will understand.
You go monolith hunting.
You have founded your first Space Agency!
You ask maltesh for advice.
You decide to complain about mods that you've never installed.
You attempt a Europa Report replica mission.
You grab a kerbal with two Klaws.
You hire Rube Goldberg to make your next rocket.
You visit Project Rho to get ideas for your next mission.
You PM Maxmaps with your totally never heard before idea of plush Kerbals.
You build a lightning gun.
You write a paper about the meta-analysis of analysis of meta-meta-metacognition research, claiming that it's "about ethics in meta-meta-journalism."
You hold a nuclear warhead to your eye.
You taunt DuoDex.
You implement a recursive program in kOS.
You install RealChutes.
You search for buried treasure on Eve.
You violate every law of thermodynamics.
You install NEAR because you can't get FAR.
You debate the ethics in gaming journalism.
Jeb challenges you to beat his record of pencils-stuck-in-the-ceiling.
Frustrated by the failure of your heavy spaceplane design, you simply turn it upright, attach launch clamps, and call it a rocket.
You ask Jeb for advice.
You "tease the fuel containers".
You try to eat the Mystery Goo in deep space to see if doing so gives you more science.
You start a forum thread on the morality of part clipping.
You build a porkjet-powered plane.
You poke the Magic Boulder with a stick and write down the results for science.
You decide to solve your problems by using regular expressions.
You modify your flight computer to run with a lisp.
You construct a Tandem Mirror-style fusion engine.
You add a lot of outcomes to kmath that nobody will understand.
You launch a rocket carrying 4 micro-satellites.
Confusing the DT Vista inertial fusion engine with Windows Vista, you mount an install disk on the back of your spacecraft to achieve extreme specfic impulse.
You ask for a banana mod on the forums.
You park your capture craft around Minmus.
You deliver a rover via fractional orbital bombardment.
You attempt to recreate the scene in Interstellar and dock with a spinning ship.
You attempt to modify your save files using a line editor.
You attempt to construct a colony in Jool.
You obtain +o.
You charge your Friendship drive.
You construct an orbital magma cannon.
You steal your sister's hair bleach to make mono-propellant for your rocket.
Mission Control asks you to do a grand tour.
You deploy a squad of black helicopters.
You realise you have been playing KSP for 24 hours straight.
You test a rocket running Windows 8.
You are tasked with using Flubber to create enhanced lithobraking capabilities.
You launch a harpoon-loaded comet lander.
You fill all your tanks with soda pop.
You use Mainsails as RCS thrusters.
You attempt to reduce your trajectory calculations to a quadratic equation.
You install Kerbulator.
You attempt to plan your whole mission in advance, on paper.
You install Protractor.
You connect *another* bot to the network.
You build a craft to cover the KSC in debris.
You add another meta-mission to kmath about the idiosyncratic tendencies of the regulars on #KSPOfficial.
You perform percussive maintenance on your rocket.
You attempt to play x64 KSP on a windows phone.
You heard people like colonies, so you put a colony in a colony.
You mis-apply the #RaptorMyths hashtag.
You develop a glorious mod that converts all of the ingame measurements to obscure units.
You start an Action War.
You poke a discussion with a stick to see if it is dead.
You outsource the assembly of your rockets to The Netherlands.
You make a solid rocket out of anti-matter.
You attempt a monopropellant grand tour.
You use a soda machine to dissolve oxidizer in your fuel.
You race the sun in an ion glider.
The police interrogate you about the parts you "found lying on the side of the road."
You decide rockets are too expensive, and build a giant catapult instead.
You attempt career mode with zero starting funds.
You attempt to land on top of the VAB from orbit.
You add a mission to kmath with a nice round index.
You attempt to play marbles with asteroids.
You try to find a way to affect spacetime and open wormholes.
You build an Alcubierre drive.
You launch a rocket that launches rocket-launching rockets.
You attempt to research the entire tech tree with a single launch.
You use a flint to ignite your thruster.
You taunt KwirkyJ.
You develop a fusion explosion engine.
You shoot the Mun with a laser.
You name your new vessel in the style of Iain M Banks Culture series.
You realize the engineers in the VAB and SPH aren't actually doing anything productive.
You set out to create a fusion powered engine.
You taste Minmus to see if it really is mint ice cream.
You ask Scott Manley to provide music for your next launch.
You are distracted by a discussion about N-body physics.
You attempt to create a mod to add Lagrange points to the game.
You switch to an x64 version of KSP.
You attempt to simulate KSP with Minecraft computers.
You play Goat Simulator.
You fix a wiring defect using nothing but blue electric tape.
Someone challenges you to "move" Gilly.
You play some filk songs to improve morale.
You skim Jool's atmosphere.
You begin testing the effects of high velocity cactus in zero gravity.
You store your fissile materials without regard to their respective distances through the walls.
You attempt to beat the spacetime rug.
You test a launch clamp on Dres.
You taunt the Magic Boulder.
You have a strut shortage.
You attempt to harpoon a comet.
You install an Adobe product on your computer.
You accidentally install Atom instead of RSS.
You construct a Salt-Water Zubrin Thruster.
You start a large and very expensive campaign to reduce public fear of the word "nuclear".
You capture a glowing octopus-like creature and put it into a jar.
You search for more vict^H^H^H^H willing volunteers.
You strap a phase-conjugate mirror to the base of your engine and try test-firing it from a safe distance.
You give Jeb the Dubstep gun.
You install KSP on Linux in a VM in OSX in a VM in Windows ME.
You try your newly discovered "flubber" as a different form of lithobraking.
You attempt to write a KSP-themed parody of Let it Go in the chat.
You invent another clever name that #KSPOfficial should be renamed to.
You switch to Kerbix.
You switch the safeties off for an experiment.
You attempt to convert KSC's computers to Linux.
The Konstructor convinces you to use more Rockomax Mk 55 engines on your craft.
You subject FOOF to ozonolysis in spite of the dire warnings not to.
You attach rubber balls to a cactus and throw it around inside the space station
You start a large and very expensive campaign to reduce public fear of the word "nuclear".
You attempt to land on VallCactus.
Your finger slips, and you type ";fission" instead of ";mission."
Mission Control just heard about the new Air Turborockets!
You hire a Pierson's Puppeteer to run your safety department.
You build a shrine on Bop to the mighty Kraken.
You talk Danny2462 into managing your space program while you're away.
You attempt to explain specific impulse to third-graders.
You attempt to power your craft with copious amounts of dubstep.
You make a series of cartoons about your mission featuring cute smiling spacecraft.
You ask Kountdown to track your mission.
You construct a mass driver.
You attempt to insert a nuclear ramjet probe into Jool's atmosphere.
Due to recent major budget cuts, the KSC facility has been reduced to Gene's backyard, while his wife is not at the house.
You attempt to pluck one of the UmbralRaptor's tailfeathers.
You debate ethics in gaming journalism.
You start looking for the meaning of life at 3 AM.
You set your hammer to panic mode.
You attempt to fire your rockets without advance notice, against union layoff agreements.
You set KIDS to 0.01.
You try to play Orbiter.
You attempt to launch a rocket using feces as a liquid fuel.
You attempt to stop the hypetrain.
You taunt the SpaceCore.
You edit Slap.txt.
You attempt to circumvent Eve's gravity well by murdering your spacecraft and floating its ghost up into orbit.
You register on KaceBook to find fuel for the Friendshipdrive.
You crash into Kerbin with infinite fuel enabled.
You spam kmath with ;mission all day, then suddenly realize that all you've done is give it a higher kspotrolls rating than you.
You convince Bob to ride on top of the rocket.
You try to play Buzz Aldrin's Space Program.
After several thousand hours of KSP, you set out to make your own space program.
You build a tower out of rocket engines and fuel tanks.
You help UmbralRaptor with low tech / low cost craft designs.
You upgrade Jebediah.
Someone complains about bots in the channel.
After mishearing "fluorine," you embark on a quest to locate the rare and even more reactive "ceilingine."
You initiate a rocket-measuring contest.
You hire thousands of low-stupidity kerbonauts.
You launch a rescue mission.
You mention Kountdown.
You attempt to do a return flight from Jool.
You attempt to use windmills as a means of propulsion.
You mount two Alcubierre drives on either end of a ship facing opposite directions, just to see what will happen.
No mission for you. You get Carth.
You make your choice between science and chocolate labs.
You attempt to aerobrake Jool in Eve's atmosphere.
You launch something that barely looks like a rocket.
You create a Keter-class object.
You replace every part of your spacecraft with aerogel, because aerogel is always better.
You were caught playing KSP when you should have been launching the new SpaceX Rocket.
You prepend 'ablative' to all nouns.
You leave the channel right before PrefixCactus sends you a long and detailed reply.
You build a dual-purpose jetpack slash flamethrower.
You accept payment for your services in wooden nickels.
You inspect the freshly delivered batch of gluten-free rocket parts.
You set out to land on every planet and return home safely - in one launch.
You code an IRC bot that responds with hilarious combinations of mission and outcome when prompted.
You attempt to attempt an attempted Jebediah-Kobold Maneuver.
You point a high performance torchship at Kerbol to obtain an Aichelburg–Sexl Ultraboost.
You scram your hard drive.
You give the MechJeb pod the evil eye to try to make it stop staring at you.
You launch a spaceplane powered by antimatter scramjets.
You introduce Jeb's BadS Workshop to the Astronaut Training School.
A probe of unknown origin approaches the KSC and hails you.
You design and build a complete space program using nothing but cans of Spam.
You build a replica of an obscure craft that no one but you has ever heard of.
You call in sick to work because you spent all night playing SCP Containment Breach.
You violate conservation of momentum.
You hire Big Man Japan for your next mission.
You draw the curtains on your launch window.
You construct an interplanetary transit vehicle out of graphene, spin-polarized helium, and [DATA EXPUNGED].
You make a very bad pun.
You do an aileron roll!
You decide to build a rocket that reuses the SRBs and throws away the tankage.
You cook dinner using the Poodle's advertised BBQ mode.
You try to use infiniglider physics to go over 3,000 m/s.
In effort to curb embezzlement, you spend all your funds to convert SolidFuel to FOOF.
You decide to write music and release an album called "The dark side of the Mun" which is totally not a cheap ripoff.
You build a micro surfboard so you can surf the microwaves.
You disturb the PrefixCactus.
You try to stream a full NASA mission.
You upgrade R&D.
You drop your snacks into the LOX tank to preserve them better.
You ask a model rocketeer to send a compass up in that rocket of theirs.
You try to recreate a ship from your favorite sci-fi universe in KSP.
You head to the nearest pig farm with a bag full of M size rocket motors and stoic determination to prove a point.
You attempt to derive meaning from a meaningless thing.
In order to prove to your boss that the terminal doesn't accept wildcards, you issue #rm -rf * in the root directory.
You try putting racing stripes, R-Type stickers, and a fat exhaust on your rocket to improve performance.
You spike your fuel with red mercury.
You replace a Stayputnik Mk 2 with an Arduino.
You boot your flight computer in safe mode wath fetwgrkifg.
You attempt to convert between imperial and metric spaces.
You write a bot that could pass the turing test, configure it to talk trollishly about KSP and unleash it on #KSPOfficial.
You set your parachute on fire.
You analyze Jool's atmosphere to determine if it contains mystery and/or green goo.
You build a Large Hamdron Collider for protein anti-protein research.
You construct a Single Stage To Ocean spaceplane.
You try to emulate KSP using cellular automata.
You apply solar panels like sunscreen.
Failure is not an option.
You launch into a Molniya orbit.
You attempt to pet the UmbralRaptor.
You try a propellant combination you read about on Derek Lowe's blog.
You instigate a discussion over the merits of a Robo-Human marriage.
Wolfram confuses kilobytes with trilobytes. Your day just goes downhill from there.
You cook up a really nice batch of random.
Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to kill every kerbal in one titanic explosion.
You attempt to pacify Kerbin's hinterlands.
You install Deadly Reentry.
You try a rover race with DarkMultiPlayer.
You misspell "mission".
You install DangIt!
<php> code </php> flew on a rocket!
You show pictures from your awesome mission to your physics professor, and ask if they'll count for partial credit on the homework you didn't do while you were playing KSP.
You violate conservation of momentum.
You install Kerbal Joint Reinforcement because struts are for noobs.
You post in the forums asking for Mechjeb to be included as stock.
You are inspired by H. R. Giger.
You try to out-crazy Danny2462.
You search the cosmos for answers to all of your questions.
You use tweakscale.
You install every mod on the curse site.
You try to break the laws of physics.
You play Space Station 13.
You arrange a date between Kountdown and Siri.
You put a partially-disassembled B787_300 into a very large plane.
You take a wrong turn at Alcubierre.
You launch a new spacecraft propelled by GreeningGalaxy tossing buckets of tribbles out the back.
You build an inertial guidance system and proceed to launch missiles with it at your opponents.
You try to out-whackjob Whackjob.
You help a newbie in #KSPOfficial. Meanwhile, someone is _wrong_ on the IRC.
You explore the Moholes.
In an attempt to save money on fuel you fit fuel lines from your engines to your tanks.
You mutter something about "chargin mah lazer" and stand with an open mouth.
GladOS attempts to kill you.
You throw a bag of botsnacks into #KSPOfficial.
After trying a meta-meat pie at the KSC, you build a protein/anti-protein generator.
You try adding a mission with the ;mission command.
You attempt to discover how far down the stack of turtles really goes.
You mistake Quatroking for SpaceCore and portal him to the Mun.
You capitalize an all lower-case name.
You decline to edit the PKGBUILD.
You place shims under the uneven legs of Rokker's chair, causing him to stop Rokking.
You escape from the Vortex Rikers.
You try to capitalise your capacity of flux capacitors.
You speak cyrillic, whatever that may mean.
Wernher claims to have a plan to turn the entire astronaut complex into a rocket...
You spend all morning adding missions and outcomes to kmath.
Bob contemplates the meaning of reality and all of existence.
You invent the Stabilized Liquid Hydrogen Metal Ballad.
You mount a wubwubulator on your rocket.
You try to raise money to upgrade your computers on the ground and on your craft.
You go nerd-sniping.
You pressed the Abort Switch.
You enlist the help of Ensign Sulu.
You are inspired by an XKCD what-if.
You invite Walt Kerman over to your house for dinner.
You press the Spacebar.
You try to find The Awnser
You design an airship capable of floating in Eve's atmosphere.
You use drainage pipes after having run out of fuel lines.
Mistakes are made.
You try explaining Isp to third-graders.
You meet Gene Kranz.
You attempt to do the taxes for your Space Program.
You tire of rockets, and decide to launch craft into space with a giant gun.
You hatch an evil plot to steal some important hardware from Mission Control, for the evulz!
You remove a misplaced probe core.
You attempt to fight a troll in creative ways.
You make a Goat Simulator addon for KSP.
You attempt to port KSP to the Doom engine.
You attempt to scale images using HTML.
You open a portal to Duna to recover the abandoned Union Aerospace Corporation facility.
You attempt to recreate the Cassini-Huygens mission.
You set about to start an intergalactic space war using nothing but flamethrowers.
You taunt the ops.
You've been tasked with organizing all of the training materials for new Kerbonauts.
You attempt to be clever with Oxford commas.
You accidentally refer to interstellar space as The Furthest Ring.
You tape down the trigger of your handgun, deciding to just use the safety to fire it.
You hatch a magnificent plan to secretly build a Scott Manley Memorial Monument on the Mun's dark side.
You try to make models using a blender set to puree.
Too many people abuse the add mission command on #kspofficial.
You try launching the Kerbal X to Eve.
You establish a Munbase. The only transmissions you can receive are the words "john madden" repeated over and over again.
In an attempt to save lives, you start playing Dwarf Fortress.
You decide to taste Minimus to see if it really is mint ice cream.
You use regular expressions to parse HTML.
You attempt something you saw Danny2462 do.
You attempt something you saw Illectro do.
You attempt something you saw Abyssal Lurker do.
You refueled your craft with soda pop instead of liquid fuel.
You set out to make a mod that *removes* realism from Kerbal Space Program.
You purchase some trampolines from Дмитрий Рогозин.
You experiment with mixed vegetable rocket staging.
You throw a cat into the chat.
The How It's Made crew films a 15-minute piece at the KSC facility.
You create a space station in the shape of a giant green eyeball.
You try to go to orbit with nothing but solid rockets.
You begin another ;mission.
You attempt to make a rocket using sausage for propellant.
You trigger the Big Crunch.
Just to spite HAL, you ignore all of Jupiter's other moons and head straight for Europa with your lander.
You attempt to view your next mission.
You attempt to add a nuclear saltwater rocket to the game.
You design a series of planetary probes around the paradigm of exchanging reaction mass for ablative lithobraking equipment.
You re-roof the SPH in solar cells.
You launch a mission to retrieve a surface sample from Jool.
You order a shipment of asbestos-free snacks for your pilots.
You land your giant transit vehicle on its nozzles on the surface of Minmus.
You watch a film about human stupidity and what monotonous food does to people that pretends to be hard science fiction.
You taunt Kountdown.
You activate the engines on full thrust while still docked to the station.
You take a Fast Fourier Transform of Jeb.
You attempt to listen to Rokker talk about something for a full hour.
You try to build a space shuttle.
You play KSP in class.
You try to perform maintenance on your transit vehicle during the capture burn.
You take a screenshot like a BOSS.
You discover that the control tower is actually a nuclear-powered transit vehicle in disguise.
You refrigerate the equations to kill more stowaways.
You discover all your contracts require unobtanium.
You find a way to strap some boosters to your home.
You try to go faster than c.
Mission control has no idea what you're doing.
You refine kilotons of hydrogen peroxide to 99% purity for use as a propellant.
You're bound for Moho with the goal of getting a decent tan.
You harpoon a rubber ducky.
You finally cave in and push the big red button.
You eggsploit the mission control computers.
You add a mission.
You build a rocket powered by ejecting old microwave ovens out the airlock.
You launch a spaceplane powered by antimatter scramjets.
You install ALL THE MODS on Windows 64bit KSP.
You attempt a Grand Tour of the restaurants in your area.
You are tasked with fixing an overpopulation of kerbals.
You try to make hot tea in zero gravity.
You accidentally start a mission.
You have the board computer replaced with an HP laptop.
You make a 64K texture for a single button.
You construct an aircraft powered by a laser-inertial-confinement fusion engine.
You lose all your suclearnubPoints™.
You embark on a secret mission to Duna.
You force a game engine that was intended for casual iOS games to run a space sim.
You wait weeks for that one mod to update.
Kerbol is dimming, so you decide to drop a really big bomb into it.
You finally receive your rocket licence.
You swap the canteen coffee with mystery goo.
You turn on part clipping and start clipping fuel tanks into fuel tanks into fuel tanks into fuel tanks...
You take a swim in the pool.
You divide by zero.
You get a gravity assist from Jool.
You upgrade your shipboard computers to Ubuntu 14.04 LTS.
You search for the LD-50 of boosters.
You detect an unknown probe approaching Kerbin and decide to hail it.
You claim that a gravity turn is a hard 45 degree pitchover at 10 km altitude.
You decide to determine whether ClF3 or FOOF is the better oxidizer.
You try to add mods for 0.25.
ATK lobbyists force you to add more boosters.
You get kmath to assign your missions.
You try a twelve-degree approach to land at Island Runway 09.
You try to perform a barrel roll while on the ground.
You attempt to add a mission to kmath.
the K in Kmath means that Kmath is actually Kountdown in disguise because illuminati.
You ask someone what is their K/D on KSP.
Move Zig, for great justice.
You outsource the assembly of your rockets to Australia.
You try to use parachutes to fight against the Death Star's tractor beam.
You catch egg and make him into a fairing.
You build a Light-Rail network and you take the first ride on the Light-Train.
You arrange a date between Kountdown and Cortana.
You taunt Scott Manley.
You set out to visit ALLLLLLLL the planets in KSP Interstellar!.
MechJeb stops working.
Red5 wanted to test how painful cactus was in zero-g.
For each 'unfortunate training accident,' a tree is planted at the Inland Space Center.
In an attempt to play with all 101 of your /essential/ mods, you try to install Linux.
You deploy a probe to analyze the static interference caused by certain asteroids.
You make the Ion Thruster consume LiquidFuel.
You replace B787 with an A350.
You attempt to make an engine that runs on electricity.
You code an IRC bot that spews random lines when prompted.
You are contracted to manufacture a series of ballistic missiles for the North Kerbeans.
You upgrade your spacecraft controls to be fully touchscreen-based.
You encounter a laser and are very concerned.
You crack open a goo can.
You confuse yaw with yawn.
You charge your friendship drive.
You patiently listen to everything Mission Control has to say and then do the exact opposite.
You request new flight plans.
You join the Dark Side.
Taniwha rolls his eyes, then rolls your eyes.
You wait for KSP to finish loading.
You measure the capacity of your fuel tanks in butts.
You head to the Mun for a round of golf.
You attempt to match your target orbit.
You imagine six impossible things before breakfast.
You attempt to obtain a sample of Kerbal DNA for analysis.
You speak the Discouraging Word. The skies cloud ominously.
You whistle the tune of "I'm walking this moon because you crashed my ship".
You write a technical report about "fussion" reactor technology.
You try to play KSP on your Toshiba T3100e.
You ping all the ops on #KSPOfficial.
Your spaceplane brings all the Kerbs to the yard, and they're like, "It'll splash down hard."
You install all of the realism mods.
You confuse 'corium' with 'corundum' and embark on a woefully ill-advised expedition to Chernobyl to mine for sapphires.
You publicly admit you play KSP for fun.
You use the schwartz.
You use the power of HyperEdit to crash Eve into Kerbin.
You assign Jeb to Collins Duty.
You open several dozen of the 1000 boxes on this floor and assemble a very unusual rocket, indeed.
You build a microwave engine, complete with a loud 'ding!' when you reach your destination.
You search for Minmus' missing mass.
You consult the Grimoire for Summoning the Zoologically Dubious.
You ignite some mercury thiocyanite as an offering to the Kraken.
You implement a recursive program in kOS.
You fly an infiniglider to Jool.
You replace your speakers with singing tesla coils.
Inspired by the elegant design of the magnetorquer, you decide to try to build a magnetranslator to cut down on fuel costs.
You attempt to load a 0.9.0 craft file in 0.90.0.
You repeatedly press the big red button.
You put your hand out the window to get a feel for aerodynamics.
You start hoarding bitcoins for the alleged purpose of creating the first decentralized, anonymous space program.
You attempt to create an extraplanetary launchpad.
Kmath can't be bothered to find you a mission.
You install FAR.
You attempt to build a Kraken drive.
You spread the disco fever.
You attempt to fly a spaceplane with FAR.
You initiate a brachistochrone trajectory to Jool.
You add one more booster.
You meet Scott Manley.
You investigate whether your rocket has blast processing.
You take off like a boss.
You attach a retroencabulator to your payload.
You accidentally ignite an entire cargo bay filled with thermite while in orbit.
You grab the Magic Boulder with a Klaw.
You cite Project Rho as your only source for your research paper about rocket propulsion.
You spell and pronounce "nuclear" as "nukular."
You build a Dyson Sphere around Kerbol.
Your instruments blow up on the pad.
You go on a spending spree at Rickety Rick's Rocket Emporium.
In an attempt to cut down on costs you omit fuel tanks from your rocket design (but not fuel).
You build a rocket with over 9000 low-powered but crazily efficient engines on its first stage.
You initiate a barbecue roll.
You try to publish a paper about how pigs are actually plants.
The mission director is handed instructions on a napkin.
You stare at Kerbol too long.
You attempt to hijack a fully-fueled and ready-to-launch rocket sitting on the pad.
When life gives you lemons, you don't make lemonade! You make life take the lemons back. You GET MAD! You don't want life's damn lemons! What are you supposed to do with these?!
You attempt to mutate some neutrinos.
You start charging your lasers.
You research quantum flubber sneakers.
You update Windows.
You open an airlock to EVA and fix a malfunctioning rocket engine.
You discover a kesslertron and deorbit it.
Having cornered the market on model rockets and paper airplanes, you start sending your catalogs to the Kerbal Space Program.
You strand Jeb in orbit and force him to watch bad sci-fi movies.
You open the Gate of Babylon.
You upgrade your spacecraft control to be entirely keyboard-based.
You do something that you've done before.
UmbralRaptor explodes, emitting all kinds of dinosaur DNA.
You find out about regular expressions.
You replace anything electrical on your craft with potatoes.
You discharge your Friendship drive.
You steal your sister's hair bleach to recolour your rocket.
You state that a plan to shoot a laser at the asteroid is like “shooting a b.b. gun at a freight train.”
M is for Mission; that's good enough for you.
You install Norton Firewall in your black holes.
You buy a Commodore 64 so you can play the new version of Kilobyte Space Program.
As a prank, you sneak into the VAB after hours and put confetti in all the RCS thruster blocks.
You find an alien SHIFT and install it as your throttle controller.
You attempt to delete kmath database.
Feeling too impatient to aerobrake, you decide to lithobrake.
You pet Kountdown.
You launch a rescue mission for your rescue mission.
You try to make a KSP killer in Adventure Maker.
You try to stabilize your craft and poke the throttle with a stick.
You violate the cosmic censorship principle.
Someone notices the typo in this mission.
You come up with atrocious but mathematically-sound unit conversions, which you feed into kmath for fun.
You commission a combination memorial obelisk/space elevator.
You dive deep into Jool in pursuit of helium-3.
You attempt to drive your solar sail vessel with a flashlight.
You embark on a mission to Hammerspace.
You put on the Gravity soundtrack to make your aerocapture maneuver even more intense.
You implement Wernher's plan to turn the entire astronaut complex into a rocket.
You attempt to fix all grammatical errors in kmath's missions.
You build a spacecraft propelled by giant Gatling guns.
You replace the atmosphere of your spacecraft with aerogel.
You attempt to go to space with an orbital airship.
You hold a press conference about your space program.
You buy a very big firework.
You are asked about your feelings when you see a Tortoise767 lying on its back, baking in the sun.
You port KSP to MS-DOS.
You give your spaceplane a bad attitude.
You mistype and invite Pott Manley to an official event.
You rm -rf /usr/biosphere.
You outsource the assembly of your rockets to Ohio.
You murder a microwave for its magnetron and install it in your rocket.
BadRocketsCo tasks you to put a soup can into orbit around Gilly.
You set off to write an OS for your onboard computers.
You use a bomb-pumped laser pointer to present your budget proposal.
You attempt to create a floating Joolian colony.
A dramatic increase in traffic makes it necessary to augment the astronaut complex's front revolving door with small rocket engines.
You mix SI and US units.
You attempt to pet the UmbralRaptor.
You hire thousands of high-stupidity kerbonauts.
You attempt to land on the top of a tall thin object.
You visit KSC2.
You comment that ion engines should run on electricity alone without any propellant.
You build a photon engine.
You build a ship for the stated purpose of outrunning its own mass.
You are tasked with extensive testing of thrust plates.
You design a rocket fueled by mashed bananas and matchsticks.
You adopt a habit of announcing "I Know You're Listening" to empty rooms.
You install Planet Factory.
You attempt to collect 9,000 and one boosters.
A gray-suit "accidentally" backs into a fully armed and operational klaw.
You land on Mun using winglets on decouplers.
You turn some A class asteroids into a newton's cradle
You attempt to hack Kountdown.
You try to build a stealth battlecruiser.
You attempt to parse HTML with regex.
You taunt Happy Fun Ball.
You spray-paint the Mystery Goo gray.
You try to build a boat.
Mission Control asks you to do a near flyby of the star.
The Kerbin government starts enforcing ITAR.
You attempt to launch a rocket using Jeb's excess matter of questionable origin as a bio-fuel.
You eat rocket candy like it's pixie sticks.
On some good advice, you paint your rocket red in hopes it will go faster.
You look into the laser with your remaining eye.
You attempt to put up a satellite to supply Kerbalnet access to Duna.
You decide to do nothing today.
You start liveblogging your mission on #kspofficial.
You decide to add some mods.
You conduct a rendezvous rescue mission.
You fly a brachistochrone trajectory to the Mun.
You stir the tanks.
Your job is to "tickle the Umbral" and no one envies you this task.
You spell fluorine as "flourine" in the procurement docs.
You are listening to The Shaggs all day.
You adopt the Korolev Cross as a religious symbol.
You debate the feasibility of the Alcubierre Drive.
You submit a budget request using a mix of Comic Sans and Papyrus.
You modify your flight computer to run LISP.
You fly out to Eeloo in search of Things What Make You Fight Good.
You plug a UPS into another UPS for unlimited power.
You attach an afterburner to the nozzle of your rocket, hoping that it will make the rocket go faster.
You cover an E class asteroid with RCS/Claw Tugprobes.
You are tasked to distill hydrogen trioxide.
You build some of the Star Wars fighters in KSP.
You clear away the junk parts nobody touched in 3 years.
Jeb divides by zero.
You start your Munar insertion burn 70 degrees below the horizon
You engage in high-speed battle with a Bussard ramship.
You've opted to use PVC instead of bamboo for your Bang Fai nozzle.
You flirt shamelessly with Jool during the capture burn.
You attempt to build a 50 tonne VTOL.
You press the red button.
You attempt to find a place to refuel for below $2/gal.
You attempt to use a slide rule.
You have the utmost confidence in the mission.
You modify the Vernor thrustor to dispense soda.
You attempt to imitate a teapotahedron.
You say "lol" in #kspmodders.
You cut back on funding.
You build a perfect Dragon V2 replica.
You build a launch vehicle using only ion engines.
You proudly take part in a survey about kerbal life expectancy.
You explore the capabilities of sepratrons as RCS engines.
No Mission for you. You get Carth instead.
You build a space bus.
A yellow glow-in-the-dark octopus-like creature infiltrates your Science Jr. containers.
You search for near-Earth asteroid 2007 VN84.
You decide the north pole is overrated and instead fly to the south pole.
You install Deadly Reentry.
You start a recruitment campaign for female engineers interested in working at KSC.
You copyright an outcome.
Icefire gets fed up with silly missions and outcomes.
You build a zero-g simulation plane and try to fly it.
You repeatedly play Star Wars sound effects to Werhner Von Kerman's mynah bird.
You use the waste heat from your fusion reactor to make tea.
You try to verify if the Sega Genesis has blast processing.
You switch your back speedometer to scientific notation again.
You launch a transit vehicle powered by an antimatter beam rocket.
You try making a mod for KSP. "[13:48] <you> ok, I think I'm making progress! [13:51] <you> ok nevermind"
You launch a rocket with the goal of reaching a distance of one hellameter from the sun.
You peer behind an event horizon.
KSC staff swear too much on the job.
Due to budget cuts you decide to use discarded IDE cables instead of struts.
You ignore all the warning about physics warp.
You introduce circular logic into a discussion of the relative merits of 'ablate' versus 'oblate.'
You look at the Magic Boulder for too long at a time.
You try to store iced tea in a Rockomax Jumbo-64 for a VAB party.
You upgrade the launchpad.
You modify your car's speedometer to give readings in meters per second.
You experiment with the Coke/Mentos propellant combination.
You invent a drive that runs on broken promises and shattered dreams.
You launch a rocket with 20 unsuspecting kerbals to sacrifice to the Kraken.
You try to think of more atrocious but mathematically-sound unit conversions.
You replace every part of your spacecraft with aerogel.
You install Ubuntu on a Probodobodyne Okto-2.
You try to launch your Jool probe with an Inertial Upper Stage from your payload bay.
You launch a ship propelled by hacked decouplers.
You run out of duct tape.
You decide to recreate Project Orion.
You pull out your slide-rule to calculate the delta-v of the Resonance Cascade as a single-stage-to-Xen.
You attempt to ignite the thrusters by rubbing two sticks together.
You do not read the EULA.
You accidentally a thruster. The whole thing.
You use an NSWR as your first stage engine.
You put a dozen glowsticks in the microwave for 30 minutes.
You put on the Gravity finale soundtrack to make your reentry even more intense.
You blow Alcubierre soap bubbles.
You try to recreate a previous failure as a learning exercise, but this time with greater sarcasm.
You attempt to bring your rocket design from beta to release in one step.
Sweat beads on your brow when you read that your Synosiodic chamber has reached 3.5ppm with 23 side-fumbles per minute.
You build a giant Yule goat in KSP.
You attempt to refine Rockwell's Turbo Encabulator by recalibrating the Reciprocating Dingle-Arm.
Goliath National Products has assigned you to test the Turbo Jet Engine at an altitude of 23,345 meters over Eve's oceans.
During an emergency, you activate the Emergency Medical Holographic Program.
You decide to recreate Project Pluto.
You expand your rocket into a Taylor series.
You murder Dunzor Kerman in Spaceplane Hangar with the LV-T30.
Instead of adding canards to your aircraft, someone has instead drawn a crude map of Canada. A flock of geese asking for directions delay the launch.
You decide to throw a party at the KSC.
You submitted a capsule design to the KSC.
You attempt to sue Jebediah Kerman.
You aim a green laser pointer at a reentering spaceplane.
You install every mod you can find.
You build an infiniglider.
You have a waterbomb fight in the command module.
You attempt to send a RTG through the post.
You attempt to brew some coffee over the exhaust of a mainsail.
You upload SCORPION STARE to your ship's external cameras to ward off Kraken attacks.
You try to explain to someone why Pluto is still not a planet.
You intentionally lithobrake.
You launch an unamused octopus into orbit to spy on everyone.
You construct a solar death ray.
You try to build a Single Stage To Ocean spaceplane.
You embark on a journey to the toilet.
Mission control runs out of coffee.
You try launching a rocket with negative drag, just to see what would happen.
You upgrade all computers to Hewlett Packard systems.
You violate all three laws of thermodynamics at the same time.
You send Jeb to astronaut school to learn more about safety procedures.
YOU WILL BE ACCELERATED. Reason: Failure to comply with robot overlord instructions.
You put the SRBs on backwards.
You replace the mystery goo with World of Goo gooballs.
Oh Kountdown!
You attempt to argue with Rokker.
You play Spacebase DF-9.
You spam kmath with ;mission.
You build a rocket in the SPH and launch it from the runway.
You flip the magic/more magic toggle.
You retrofit your latest craft with a Fitbit.
You spend hours explaining in increasingly enraged tones how dividing by zero is not "scary" or "evil" or capable of "breaking the universe," it's just impossible, and everyone needs to shut up about it already.
You try to build a spinning ring ship after seeing Interstellar.
Your hype train exceeds 88 miles per hour.  You arrive in version 13.3.
You attempt to increase public interest in space exploration.
You make a vehicle out of physicsless parts.
Shrektoberfest comes early this year.
You attempt to ascend from Jool's surface.
You play some filk to cheer up your kerbals.
You attempt to run a thermal rocket on battery power.
You attempt to ascend from Kerbol's surface.
You make a breakthrough in stealth-cactus detection.
You successfully convert specific impulse from seconds to cubic meters using what looked like valid math at the time, but you can't remember how you did it because the janitor erased your chalkboard.
You collude with Elves.
You remove the Squad folder.
You tire of rockets, and decide to launch things into orbit with a giant gun.
You quadruple check your staging before the flight just in case.
You try to integrate BD Armory and Dark Multiplayer.
You launch a small, unobservable teapot into a high orbit in order to definitively prove the existence of one.
You decide to be here more often.
You attempt to build a hype plane.
You attempt to calculate longitude of ascending node by hand.
You are sent on a mission to deliver Gilly to Mun orbit.
You build a wheel that turns itself forward.
You use KSP rocket data in your final project for your statistics class.
You cause Kountdown to spew a hilarious line.
B787_300 yet again loses his @ in a netsplit.
You attempt to make a small edit to one of the parts.
You launch the KASA Marmite Explorer.
You reminisce about a time when TT's mods were still being updated.
You try to download the newest update.
You create a self-sustaining airport at Insular Airfield.
You try to recapture all your base that are belong to the Kraken.
You decide to watch KSP videos instead of playing this time.
You speak in very bad english, pretending to be a russian.
You fail to find the cactus.
R&D asks you to get some Mun dust.
You give kmath a logical paradox.
You forget to install FAR.
You use a Mainsail's exhaust stream to brew coffee.
You employ Kountdown to advertise your mission.
You attempt to cook some snacks using the Poodle's advertised BBQ mode.
You visit the VallHenge.
You duel-boot Linux and Windows.
You try to find proof of the multiverse.
You hit the Administration Building. The R&D department gives you cookies because they now have a larger budget
You confuse brachistochrone and brachiosaur trajectories.
You find out that your rocket is pointing in the wrong direction.
Even though Allthumbs Kerman dropped your command module oxygen tank 2 inches, you decide to fly with it anyway.
During the next rocket launch, you start playing 80s power metal over KSC's loudspeakers.
You heard people like colonies, so you put a colony in a colony.
You send Ted Kerman on a suicide mission.
You accelerate John Cena to 0.999c.
You attach a random SCP as a payload.
You get this bot banned by spamming ;mission too much.
You attempt to use FOOF as a rocket propellant.
You create a hyperdrive powered SSTO out of genetically modified macaroni noodles.
In lieu of launching, you begin lunching.
You carefully adjust the position of the beryllium reflector with a screwdriver.
You attempt to detonate the explodium sea.
You attempt to build and run Principia on a 32bit processor.
You launch a mission to capture the Deep Space Kraken.
You send Gilly Kerman to Gilly.
You recreate the Eye in orbit above Dres.
You observe very suspicious behavior among the graysuits.
Having lost all motor control during a battle with the Kraken, Jebediah is forced to use his telekinetic haircut to pilot the craft
You run Crysis on a 90s tower.
Jeb does something questionable in the cargo bay
Bob insists you are a chav.
Eeloo hatches.
Your grammar is as abhorrent as Jeb's piloting.
Jetpack to orbit from the Mun.
Jetpack to Kerbin from Duna orbit.
Jetpack deorbit to Kerbin.
Orbit Kerbin with your second launch.
You can't stop turning off of the runway and into the VAB
You go to war with the tardigrade colony.
You notice a syntax error in MechJeb but choose to ignore it.
You see your mission in the mission. All is well.
TD-12 Decoupler collided with Jebediah Kerman.
You decide to speed up the refueling process by mining corium instead of regolith.
You find a control panel that reminds you of a keyboard, and play DEVO.
You find yourself in 2001: A Space Odyssey
Increased frequency of Vermiscious Knid attacks force you to abandon your ship.
You break the laws of rosemary, sage, and time
You perform gastric bypass surgery on the Deep Space Kraken
Realising the danger of the current orbit, you thrust retrograde, only to run into the stage you've just decoupled.
You drop two probes, but one slams into the other on the second orbit.
You send Stalin Kerman to Duna to colonise a red planet
The destruction of Kerbin fills you with a strange sort of melancholy satisfaction.
You discover a form of rat on Dres.
You use MAX_INT decouplers as danmaku.
The away team proves all too combustible.
You discover mountain dew in the seas of Eve.
You attempt to do the munwalk on Minmus.
You find an up-to-date mod list for Scott Manley's KSP installation.
You misread tako as taco, and attempt to eat the kraken.
The Kratholic Pope Jebediah I holds mass for the worship of Kraken.
Instead of tea, you brew TEA-TEB.
Collide with something that's on the same orbit as you, but goes in the other direction.
You liven up your mod mix by installing Atom instead of RSS.
You use PWM to control the thrust of a larger array of NTRs.
You accidentally trigger discussion of some unrelated topic.
You fail your rocket licence exam.
You must gather your party before venturing forth.
You do not gather your party before venturing forth.
You discover that overheating is cheaper than decouplers.
You complain that Principia gets the precession of Mercury's orbit wrong by approximately 43"/century.
You shake hands with Danger Kerman.
You press the big, jolly, red, candy-like button.
You attempt to improve on kraken drives by replacing the ladders with frustums and RF sources.
You buy copper from Ea-Nasir for use in the high temperature parts of your rocket.
You water your rocket garden with a J-404 Panther in wet mode.
You use the EVA construction feature to peform a rapid unplanned assembly.
You have more of a comment than a question.
You upgrade your entry-level SRBs from trashcans full of boom to rubbish bins filled with octanitrocubane.
You invite all four orange suits, the KSC staff, and a few dozen gray suits into an among us tournament.
You use Blackboard to explain your findings to your fellow kerbals.
In your hunger for power, you devour a Yatagarasu.
You explain how the SAS knows where it is.
You commence primary ignition.
You construct additional pylons.
You launch a Vespene gas mining expedition to Jool.
You question the wisdom of retrograde Bop.
Following UmbralRaptop's advice, you switch from CSV to FITS for storing your tabular data.
You overwater the tech tree.
You take off your engineering hat, and put on your management hat.
You design and build a rotating-detonation engine.
You are tasked with obtaining a surface sample from Jool.
You submit a pull request so as to patch your conics.
You are contracted to remove all asteroids from the Kerbol system.
You accept a contract to land on Jool's surface.
You try to find "The Answer".
You attempt to get a bot to give you a straight answer.
You ask Clarence for clearance on your new plane and Victor your vector but Roger does not roger and you can't take off.
You forget to apply the brakes before leaving your craft.
You attempt to pick a gimbal lock.
You decide to save weight on your fuel tanks by replacing them with plastic bags.
You surrepetitiously replace a cat's blini with a waffle.
You construct a vehicle featured in a Dahir Insaat video.
You explain how the orange rocket is good.
The original mission plan is unworkable. Your efforts to save Jeb exceed the bounds of reason.
You gesture at the sun's hilariously low power density, and are inspired to develop a novel quantum-enhanced fusion approach.
You find N-body gravity too complicated, and downgrade to M-body.
You stage an F1 race with "spare" Saturn V engines.
Today is a good day to die.
You decide to solve your problems with violence.
You suggest that IKEA replace their Blåhaj line with plush krakens.
You use SCP-[REDACTED] to improve your craft's performance.
You fire off large amounts of chaff and flares in an attempt to escape a gimbal lock.
You embark on a quest to replace all celestial bodies with infernal ones.
You instigate a revolution against the Tsiolkovsky, tyrant of the rocket equation.
You start thinking with portals.
You deselect the failure option.
You put rubber duckies in your fuel tank to more easily determine its current level.
You instruct Boo to specifically avoid the eyes.
You attempt to push Jool into the Fulton Gap to increase the amount of land for Kerbals to live on.
You try to jetpack from the surface of the Mun to orbit for the 13th time.
Dman979 keeps requesting new missions.
Your mission plan uses the sun as a heat shield for entering Eve's atmosphere.
You build a craft for the stated purpose of outrunning its own mass.
You give the nuclear lunch codes to an IRC bot.
You build a craft with all the parts.
You use giant centrifuge to launch your rocket.
You answer a call about your rocket's extended warranty.
You build rover wheels out of Kerbals.
You attempt to get LunchBot to accept "result" as a command.
You max out all your credit cards charging your Friendship Drive.
In a misunderstanding of "science yield", you replace the mystery goo with explodium.
You take Padous Kerman skydiving from orbit
You fly unsafe.
Per UmbralRaptop's last memo, you start saving your screenshots as FITS images.
You slice up an ice cream cone with a knife to find your orbit.
You update your threat model.
You decide to solve your problems in Kerbal Excel Program by adding more spreadsheets.
You rescue a Kerbal from the surface of the Mun without landing on the Mun.
You perform a Solar Oberth Maneuver.
You specify a mission to orbit a Lagrange point.
You run Doom on a KAL-1000.
You collaborate on a mission with Dream
You forget to check yo' staging.
You successfully land an alfredo rocket on the Mun, a first for Kerbalkind.
You launch a rocket powered by Kerbal emissions.
You make a tomato and noodle snack, then accidentally substitute TS-06 stack separators for noodles.
You receive a tentacle-written note from the Kraken requesting the random detachment of 8937 control surfaces, or else.
You bolster your snacks' nutritional value by adding nitrogen triiodide.
You add tzatziki sauce to the reaction wheels.
You accept a contract asking you to take atmospheric pressure readings on Jool at an altitude of -200 meters.
You mine for resources in a location that is not a place of honor.
You press the АЗ-5 button, not knowing that your reactor is in an unusual and unsafe state.
You sacrifice a floating point to the Dark Lord Kahan.
You collide a Proton and an Electron rocket in the hopes of speeding up the Neutron R&D process.
You invent a new propulsion system powered by loss of precision in unit conversion.
You insist on playing a 1. f3 opening.
You present an Erinaceinae with a dilemma.
You replace your red flags with red balloons.
You let Bill run with scissors
You ignore the exponential nature of the rocket equation.
A cat gets on your keyboard and fires every thruster at once
You install Deddly Reentry.
You use !nextlunch to make culinary choices for you.
For seasonal reasons, you adjust your clock by one (1) hour.
You enlighten those opposed to your space program with a several megawatt orbital laser.
You roll up a new party for tonight's session of Kobold Space Program.
You volunteer for rocket fuel production.
You download a car.
You advocate for publishing your results in a closed-access journal.
You attempt to obtain first strike capability.
You attempt to fuel your lower stages with wheat bix and kerosene.
To improve flight safety, you invent a hypogolic fuel.
You forget that bird watching goes both ways.
You stare into the abyss.
You deactivate the Geller field while in the Warp.
You provide a non-constructive proof of the existence of Dres.
You decide that a safety factor of 1.0 is a bit excessive.
You normalize deviance.
You debone a porkchop plot.
You petition the KSC cafeteria to serve nuclear pasta.
Wernher walked in with a mischievous grin...
You sell your soul to The Kraken.
You plug your computer into a cheap Chinese power adaptor driven by a lawnmower engine.
You explain how the missile knows where it is.
You roll your booster to the lunch site.
You search for the fabled Gas Planet II.
You talk up the efficiency of Munar Orbital Rendezvous over Direct Ascent.
You update your password to something more secure than hunter2.
You replace all of the pendant lights in the astronaut complex with pedant lights, which aren't lights, actually, they're just fixtures in which to hang a light.
Your mission is to launch a full orange tank into orbit of Tylo
You can't see why the last mission is funny.
You construct a Turing complete rocket.
You ask why if KSC is so good, there isn't a KSC2.
You build a huge contraception instead of a contraption to escape Eves atmosphere and reality.
Your five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no Kerbal has gone before.
You attempt to eat a muffin in microgravity...
Jeb's hibernation suit fails mere weeks into his return journey from Eeloo. Through years of total isolation in the blackness of space, his mind is warped beyond recognition.
You make the grave mistake of going on EVA while your pod is rotating...
You attempt to land in an active volcano.
You exceed the Greisen-Zatsepin-Kuzmin limit.
You goad Munwig and Munbald Kerman into a duel to the death.
You attempt to orbit below the photon sphere.
Thou must build thy rocket, then thou must count down. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
You ask if you can ask a question.
You speed up to slow down.
You slow down to speed up.
Several tourists sign up for "the trip of a lifetime."
Your payload grossly exceeds the design mass of your vehicle.
You attempt to spin-stabilize a tennis racket.
Jeb goes on strike, claiming that every time he flies his mind is psychically controlled by giant beings from another universe
Kerbal scientists discover a form of water that can be used as rocket fuel. Still better, a single drop of it will catalyze any water it contacts into that form!
Now son...don't touch that cactus...
You make your slides in LaTeX instead of PowerPoint.
Jeb can't stop snorting chloramine, and we all know what THAT means...
Bob confuses hydrazine for diphenhydramine
Valentina accidentally uses NH4ClO4 rather than C17H18F3NO...or was it the other way around?
Jeb does NOT understand, and requests that you not call him Shirley.
In lieu of an Alcubierre drive, you try an Alsphereierre drive instead
The void calls to you.
You expose the conspiracy to promote a false planet known as "Dres".
The R&D department starts playing Universal Paperclips.
You attempt to distract everyone from your space program's problems by showing them pictures of your cat(s).
You execute a series of precision maneuvers, leaving your craft exactly where you wanted
You spend hours trying to think of a single KSP feat that hasn't already been done.
You search for the main menu sandcastle.
You add FOOF to your floof.
You value-engineer your components to the brink of failure
You install the Turbopump of Vecna in your rocket engines.
You press F to pay respects, not realizing that it temporarily disables your SAS.
After rigorous observations, you discover what Kerbals really eat.
Your space program is selected to perform the highest priority decadal missions.
You turn on the radio whilst crossing the event horizon
Obsessed by the previous mission, you forget to eat or sleep for three days.
You forget that while kerbals don't need to eat, you do.
After accepting 87 contracts at random, you propose to fulfill all of them in one mission.
You begin stockpiling blood drives in a blood shed.
You question the value of orbital mechanics software written in FORTRAN.
You attempt to perform chemistry on your orbital elements.
You use PWM to control your NTR's thrust.
Jeb decides he is necnostic (he doesn't know whether gods exist, and doesn't much care either way)
You perform an antigravity turn.
You replace the mechanical Jeb with an electronic Jeb.
You try to get your rocket out of a flat spin.
Your otters are lydian augmented.
You add some communism.
Kerbal society converts to flayerism.
NEPTR enters the chat
You replace the mystery goo with LCL.
You schedule a criticality excursion.
You promise to funk. The whole funk, nothing but the funk.
You barbecue a roll.
You build a metaphorical SSTO for the purpose of flying in the face of logic.
Here comes a taniwha!
You put your Plymouth Satellite in orbit of Planet Claire
You invite the mice to a party in the VAB.
You make a MK-I pizza.
Arusab atse reel ed opmeit le odamot sayah et euq ed ohcum orgela em.
You google big words found in ;mission.
Jeb has been cooking with gas - again...
Your boosters get boosted.
Due to a clerical error, your boosters are fueled with mRNA.
You musk so well you start to flirt.
You adopt a Langford Death Parrot as a pet, and set photos of it as everyone's desktop wallpaper.
You gaze deeply into the shining trapezohedron.
You direct your kerbals to land on the Plateau of Leng.
You inquire as to where the Testium resource went.
You confuse Isp with THAC0.
You replace the Drill-O-Mattic excavator with Pabodie's most ingeneous drilling apparatus.
You sacrifice several more graysuits to The Kraken by throwing them off of the ziggurat at [REDACTED].
You launch Schrödinger's Rocket...or don't you?
Ah, Perry the Platypus, your ISP is impeccable...by which I mean COMPLETELY PECCABLE!
You steal saké from Fucc.
Due to a clerical error, your NERVA engines are subcontracted out to NERV.
Inspired by classic sci-fi, you create the Torment Nexus.
You breed radiation that glows in the presence of cats.
The market finally crashes.
You attempt to enforce #spacex bets. You need to gather 5 Pinecone.
You do not secure the doors on your ro-ro ferry.
Jeb elects to make a rapid unauthorised exit of the ISS.
You forgo struts in an effort to cut down on the cost of your vessel.
One does not simply escape from Ohio.
You enter the Lunchosphere.
You run out of blackmail material and are fired from KSC.
You wonder if making the rocket cuter will improve thermal properties...
You ask The Kraken if Minmus is as tasty as it looks.
You decide to solve your problems with violins.
You downgrade your aerodynamics to aerostatics to make the equations simpler.
You immanentize the eschaton.
You assemble a reactor with a positive void coefficient.
You decide to proceed with the launch, despite the knife storm.
You go to Clavius crater.
You confuse the Kopernicus mod with Copernicus crater.
You attempt to perform reentry entirely during your kerbals' iframes.
You use a Javelin as your launch vehicle.
You launch a ship using a null space drive.
You achieve 0 turning radius.
You reduce facility costs by filling the pond outside the administration with imposter water.
You sacrifice an anode to Ferris.
You add a large booster the size of a small booster to your rocket.
You design a craft to be played as a musical instrument. Some of the percussion is explosions.
You decide to show several tourists a sunrise on the Akatsuki Sea.
You decide to add fancy coffee to budget list.
You instruct MechJeb not to harm a kerbal, nor let a kerbal come to harm through inaction.
You open your launch window to let in some fresh vacuum.
You fill out paperwork equal to the GLOW of your rocket.
You try to eat voltage.
A nuclear raven causes an incident.
Please do not anger the nuclear weasels
You use !8ball to rate your mission plans.
You weld a convict into a submarine to explore anomalies in an ocean of blood.
You visit otter space.
You do not seek the approval of Wenceslas IV.
You see that your graphite-block moderated pile is on fire and quickly work to douse it in water.
You see that one of your control rods is stuck and manually pull it up.
You attempt to defend against a horde of angry space raptors, and fail miserably.
You stab the sky with fire and math.
Due to a severe mistranslation, Werner fills the tanks with chocolate.
Your comms are combed by a commie comet.
A self-help book tells you to never look back. This seems wise, because all the things you might crash into are in front of you.
You describe a 9-SRB rocket as highly unrealistic and unlikely to see much use.
Bill removes all the control switches for cleaning. Through an oversight they aren't replaced before liftoff.
You design a massive spacefaring virus.
You hire Bergholt Stuttley Johnson to design your rocket.
Due to an error in typography, you are contracted to make a rocket made of horse.
;mission becomes the sole source of entertainment in the KSP chat.
You insist that a rocket that solely uses horizontal staging is "unrealistic" and "would never be seriously considered".
A wizard summons you to an alternate universe, and tasks you with inventing programmable magic
The Wickwick Event occurs.
You crack open an Atlas.
You confuse kilobytes and trilobites.
You discover Anthenge.
You express a preference on ABmags vs Vega mags.
The sun is a deadly lazer.
Youssah firin' yah lazer!!
LunchBot leaves out 30-50 feral hogs.
A long time ago- Actually, never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That's why it's been everywhere. It's been so everywhere, you don't need a where. You don't even need a when. That's how "every" it gets.
You awaken a gazebo.
You take advantage of an especially long transfer orbit to solve several Jackson problems.
You right click the wrong part.
You discover the Kraken's evil plot to process Kerbals into a meat product called "Kerbal Pops."
You create a space station in the shape of a large pointing hand, making politicians very nervous.
The void hungers.
You plan a launch to Mun to snort powder found there.
You give the applicant kerbals jobs painting the rockets a lovely scarlet.
You seek to deal with waste disposal in orbit by ordering a troop of space pigs.
You launch a mission to recover the crew of the mission to recover the crew of the mission to recover the crew of your first Eve lander.
You forgot to deploy your solar panels before exiting orbit of Kerbin.
Your best scientists come to you with research suggesting hair follicles could be encouraged to grow keratin in nail form instead.
Your mother said "to get things done, you'd better not mess with Major Tom."
It's Jebbin' time!
You post a series of 2-4 hour long youtube videos about your unique physics discovery and how there is a shadowy conspiracy trying to stop you.
You bring Minmus' psychedelic snow back to Kerbin to be integrated into the water cycle.
You spam meow.
As you approach the surface, you think "Here we go again..."
Granny Kerman asks you what an error message on her computer means. You read it to her verbatim and she understands immediately.
You put a rover in a fairing on a rocket in a fairing on a rocket on a rover.
You turn Duna into an enormous satellite.
You dock an asteroid with Kerbin.
You refer to the EAS-1 External Command Seat as the "comfy chair".
You attach helium balloons to your punctuation to simulate floating point.
You decide to bring a c. 1942 E6B flight computer to the written portion of your pilot license exam.
You switch your grid fins from rectangular to polar coordinates.
You can't decide what to do, so you don't.
You prepare the complete removal of ubiquity.
You set out to increase the flammability of snacks.
Jeb falls out of his craft and can't get back in.
You invent and deploy a virally-distributed antihypoxiant that will make Kerbals almost impossible to kill.
You discover that Kerbals are the product of a zombie apocalypse. It explains the stumbling, mismatched eyes, strange diet and fragmented state of technology.
You express a great deal of indifference as to the reliability of the valves in your rockets.
You set out to post the most cringe spacecraft possible...
Jeb attempts to smoke the Oort cloud.
You make people wonder about something silly for no reason at all.
Bob discovers the joys of Aggressive Researching.
You go under a dock and find what appears to be a rock...but it isn't a rock.
You start a fire using static electricity.
You must develop a reusable transport and lander for the local Kerbin system.
You sneeze so hard it causes netsplit.
You get Kerbals added to No Man's Sky.
You devise a music box which plays 4 hours of 80's hits
You fail to mind the blit.
You attempt laxative calculus.
You go a little crazy with the moving parts
A joke bombs so hard it causes netsplit
You throw a fit about not having the same privileges as your siblings, leading to interstellar war.
You assume that all cows are spheres flying through a vacuum.
You etch complex poisoned runes into sand, and then run lightning through them.
You complain about people swapping around parts/stages, insisting that this is unrealistic and "rockets are not legos".
You attempt to replenish your monopropellant supply with mystery goo.
You attempt to refill your mystery goo cannisters with monopropellant.
You miscalculate the eV, and it evolves unexpectedly.
You travel 160934.4 kilometers and feel as if you are stationary.
You send a letter but it remains stationery.
You try to land, but your periapsis keeps going UP instead of down.
For reasons nobody is clear on, you start measuring everything in Smoots.
You convert methane into oxygen. Magic!
Your plan to transport nuclear fuel by nuclear-powered train to a nuclear power plant somehow goes wrong.
There's a kerman with a gun over there...
You encounter a non-sulfuric optical illusion.
Bob designs a decorative fountain, and fills it with ClF₃.
You reference The Ad.
You ask Jason for golden_fleece.json.
You let out a galvanised squeal.
You get a headache from too much lunch.
You reaction wheels turn your rover into a 3-meter kikkerland wind-up.
You do a hard left on a rover and end up doing a kickflip.
You check the checklist.
You contemplate life as you sit lonely in a KSP forum.
Natural selection seems to work, so you build a swarm of giant Mun rovers and leave them to prey on each other.
You offer up a bell pepper to the gods of nothing.
You successfully dock with no RCS!
You do nothing interesting.
You tell Paul McKerbney to cool it with the singing about sodium.
Gravity sucks so you turn it off.
You expose a plot by Big SRB to sell more SRBs.
You mistakenly make your docking ports out of uranium-235.
In a bid for more aggressive missions, you replace your reaction wheels with action wheels.
You look for ways to spice up tedious rescue missions.
You spice up your mission with Sriracha and Tabasco sauce.
You confuse combustible with comestible.
Across the gulf of space, minds that are to our minds as ours are to those of the beasts that perish, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic, regard Kerbin with envious eyes, and slowly and surely draw their plans against us.
You're bored, but the thought of doing anything only makes you more bored.
After burning the faces off of some potential customers, Gene Kerman demands the launch pad be cleared of all personnel before takeoff.
You convert the main space theme to Locrian.
You attempt to survey a planet from a stationary orbit...
You attempt to go into a synchronous orbit around a tidally-locked moon.
You travel through time and space to the KSP2 release party.
You do nothing but teleport bread for three days.
You attempt to obtain a surface sample from Jool.
You grok the ground.
You anger the Loaf of Infinite Doom.
You escape to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by- oh, wait...
You construct a rocket which appears to have been built by a blind sculptor trying to describe the flavor of a piece by Liszt.
You sell your soul to the devil in exchange for skill in aerospace engineering.
Eight days! You have EIGHT DAYS to save Jeb!
To improve morale, you arrange a production of "The King in Yellow".
You witness a rather disturbing incident involving an eggplant and a balloon.
Jeb's spray-paint powered EVA pack leads to some questionable markings on the exterior of your vessel.
You settle the question of "best space YouTube personality" with a build-and-pilot-your-own-rocket competition.
Your dentist screws you over and you are set to lose all of your teeth by 25.
In a fit of hunger, you devour a barbeque roll.
You can't decide on a specific impulse, so you go with a general one instead.
You accelerate to 5000m/s.
You open a restaurant on the lunch pad.
You lose your launch during lunch.
You invent a time machine powered by consuming alternate universes that "probably don't want to exist so much."
You "pspspsps" an SRB.
You decide to forklift-certify your VAB and SPH construction workers.
You frost Wernher's 1000-hour tenure cake with ammonium nitrate.
You upgrade the operator version from Red5 to 6.0.
You design a rocket motor which burns nothing but the engine itself.
You add some aerospikes just for the hell of it.
You make a lathe on Laythe.
You realise Kerbals are DENSE.
You screw maths, and brute-force it with a maneuver node and trajectories.
Annoyed at the high stability and low energy density of corium, you switch to mining cordium.
You fill your LOX tank with smoked salmon.
You select arbitrary featherless bipeds as crew.
You attempt to HOLD HOLD HOLD a lit SRB.
You eat a silica gel packet.
To accelerate R&D, you construct a device that reifies any hypothetical suggestion made in the building.
You ask Sinnerman where he's going to run to.
You encounter the Knights who say NI₃.
You "wish to exercise your right to navigate the Cosmos and demand to be allowed to navigate, against the advice of the launch director" and sign the disclaimer.
You discover that some people don't view the glass as half empty or half full, but say instead "What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who's been pinching my beer?"
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to return Jebediah from the surface of the Mun.
Jeb brings his guitar along for the ride
You say "whelp" and slap your knees. It is time to go.
You take a lump of heavy metal and squeeze it together.
You pull The Lever.
You try to uninstall libpurple from Eve.
You test the amperage of a kerbal.
Bob decides mercury would make a better coolant.
Jeb makes a mess in the the kitchen.
Someone new asks the IRC about vague field.
You take your brain to another dimension.
You have an uneventful birthday.
Jeb has a near-Death experience.
You consult with Lunchbot to launch a new startup.
You assign a task force to eliminating all of the space dinosaurs.
You use cats as semiconductors.
Wernher orders the construction of an orbital toilet.
You start kerraforming Duna by placing a composting toilet there.
Your uranium is somewhat active.
You bring out your (mostly) dead.
You try to upgrade the SAS with dead-beat control.
You are surprised by the Surprise Moon
Gene has a brand new pair of rollerskates, Jeb has a brand new key.
You zoom along at 110 m/s in the middle of the ocean with nothing around.
You are escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism!
The Mun hatches just as you land on it, birthing Kerb knows what.
Wernher informs Jeb that he is the Chosen One.
You ride Bob's Thermite Bicycle
You suddenly realize that everything is a simulation and you can do whatever you want without consequences.
You hear it's important to do unto otters as you would have otters do unto you.
You discover The Kraken is having an affair with Hermaeus Mora.
The Green Goblin gets up to some antics.
You have pretty much the worst idea anyone has had in the entire history of the universe.
You lose your lunch license due to unsanitary conditions in the preparation of porkchop plots.
You fail to make an earth-shattering kaboom.
Bill undergoes a freakish, Cronenbergian metamorphosis
Jeb is awarded the Viktoria Cross for extreme bravery. You thought he'd just gone out to buy snacks on his lunch break.
You put an RTG in every Kerbal's suit to keep life support going and to give them a healthy glow.
You resurrect an onion with malicious intent.
You pressurise your ship's primary accumulator.
Only in silence the word, only in dark the light...
You find the funky D.
Valentina uses her expert piloting skills to bake a pie.
You discover the xenobacterium responsible for turning everything on Eve's surface into purple gunk.
You top up the antifreeze in your rocket engine. For some reason the cap isn't labelled so you just pour it in the most likely place.
You make up a kerbal to get mad at.
You build a vehicle to slide along ice flats, propelled only by a reciprocating mass.
You construct an SSTO with multi-lobed cryogenic propellant tanks.
You allocate one donkey at 50% time to the job.
You build a generation ship, but because Kerbals don't die of old age the population grows exponentially.
You invent a new kind of snack, unsurpassed in the history of Kerbalkind.
You attempt to determine why Duna's scale height is so small.
You electronics, and do not know about the psy-technologies do not tell Jeb.
After careful analysis of the planets' orbits, you find no evidence of an undiscovered Planet X in the Kerbol system.
You found a modest rocket company with modest goals.
You spend ages describing to a computer what common sense is.
You do the stealy on the plans.
You program a space telescope in javascript.
On your command, all ships line up and file directly *into* the alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage.
Annoyed with simulation inaccuracies, you insist on Infinite Element Analysis.
You build a linguistics accelerator, which smashes words into each other very fast and measures the resulting phonemes.
Your new database indexes Kerbals by surname.
Jeb shuffles at a resonant frequency of his craft, causing it to rock violently.
You choose to go to the Mun in this decade, and do the other things, not because they are easy but because they are hard.
You perform a precision aerobraking maneuver above Eve.
You hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Kerbals (except the orange-suits) are created equal, that they are doomed by their Creator to certain inescapable fates, that among these are Fire, Gravity and that thing where the wheels go haywire.
You find a loophole that exempts you from ethics.
You attempt to use the Penrose process to power an interstellar spacecraft.
You are sent to Eve and wonder if there will be any purple rain.
You conduct a study of the environmental impact of hydrogen hydroxide and hydrohydroxic acid in your rockets' exhaust.
You find it shameful that the Atlas rocket wasn't named for the moth.
You wiggle left and right to accelerate far beyond your wheels' maximum speed.
You shift into reverse and break the light speed record.
You forget to patch the cones.
You build a giant Orffyreus's wheel to satisfy your power needs.
You realize that corn dogs are meat Twinkies.
Your capsule is struck by a micrometeoroid and all its coolant boils off into space.
You countersink a counter sink.
You save the weight of emergency snacks by making the control panel out of chocolate.
You invent a rocket powered by lightning.
You harness the Lightning, but are faced with an irate RAF pilot.
You attempt to track objects around Kerbin
You anger the Librarian...
You select two jobs that can't be done with single launch and try to do exactly that anyway.
You send spaceships to colonize the planets with the power of metal music.
In the near future, writing no longer exists. All design information must be represented as emojis.
To improve security, you sign all of your ints.
Your boss doesn't understand the concept of asynchronous communication -- annoying enough in normal email, but now you're on Laythe...
You pry open the marble jaws of Oblivion.
You sub-contract station construction to an EVE Online corporation.
On your way home you are low on propellant, so you tell an engineer to go on EVA and remove some superfluous parts like landing legs.
You demand instrument landing system for the runway.
You electronics, and do not know about the psy-technologies do not tell Bob.
You try to magically summon a lemon, but it goes wrong.
You discover Ravioli particles.
You wonder what sort of baby can go 88 miles per hour.
Congratulations! You've reached 299792458 nm/s!
Newton's cannonball splashes everyone sitting poolside.
You discover a highly localized distortion of the space-time continuum.
You build O'Neill cylinders.
You lose a tiny bit of nuclear material over Kerbin's badlands. It was really small. Nobody will ever notice.
You enchant your mining drill with Efficiency V and Silk Touch.
You make a landing stage out of ice.
You mix up "teller" and "tell her," which leads to some confusion.
You store your classified documents on the War Thunder forums for safekeeping.
Prince Rupert's Drops seem neat, so you devise a way to achieve the same effect with a planet.
You upgrade your gray matter ('cos one day it may matter).
Due to a mild mistranslation, your rocket is transferred from the VAB onto a small toad. The toad's name is "Launch".
Hardly anyone is expected to die, but Gene is against the plan anyway. Wuss.
Your investors demand of you to replace EVA tethers with decentralized blockchains.
You adopt a cat from the Ulthar animal shelter for your ship's mascot.
You are tasked with finding a radioactive capsule in the desert.
You accidentally load your old KSP 1 career save in KSP 2.
You consult !8ball at every stage of the design process.
You ask ChatGPT to generate a .craft file.
You build a Snarmory.
To speed up development, you order all hardware problems to be worked around in software.
You betray Physics with Voodoo.
You incorrectly stage the parts within your fairing.
Fell creatures knock without.
You go out of your office to get coffee.
You reach a landspeed of 11,000m/s
You replace the hydraulic oil in your shock absorbers with little springs.
You decide to visit Debdeb using SRBs.
You remember that H.P. Lovecraft's characters have Boston accents.
Your rocket explodes again and you rebuild it from scratch. That is, from photons.
You want to break free.
You use witchcraft to increase the IX-6315 "Dawn" Electric Propulsion System's TWR.
You attempt to invent plasmabraking maneuvers.
A cacophony of geese keeps you awake, so you lie in bed imagining new and terrible things to inflict on your Kerbals.
A fortune-teller warns you of a catastrophe in the coming week. You are unimpressed - they might as well have predicted a Monday.
You sit 3 days straight playing KSP and develop a thrombosis in your legs which eventually breaks free and blocks vital arteries.
You build an icebreaking ram onto your ship, in case interplanetary space freezes over.
You discover the world's only oracular duck and use it for mission planning.
Bill welds a JATO rocket and some rail wheels to a 1959 Chevy Impala. Jeb demands to ride on the first test run but is fortunately overruled.
You run out of jetpack fuel while on EVA.
You get disproportionately stressed about the need to do something trivial.
You build a fully functional borg cube in KSP.
At the most critical phase of the mission, when absolute focus is required, Jeb is handed a cheese sandwich.
You dine on some calamari.
Given that you can dereference pointers, you decide to dereference a few frames.
You ignore the leash laws for your pet kraken.
You try to drain the ocean of Eve.
You build a rocket of unusual size.
You disregard previous instructions.
Goliath National Products has contracted you to develop the world's first orbit-capable, Kerbal-rated, slingshot launcher!
You design a custom tech tree based on the Rockwell Integrated Development Plan.
To aid you with celestial navigation you try to use Stellarium, but you mistakenly start Stellaris instead.
You are tasked with bringing a water sample from Eve back to Kerbin.
You convert several HG-5 high gain antennae into a radar range.
You explore the latest fashions in designer genes.
Jim jabs Jeb.
Bob is about to solve a pesky problem with a revolutionary new rocket engine while he sleeps, dreaming.
You hold ya horses.
You watch C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.
You build a rocket out of struts.
You reanimate a tiny sliver of a poster's conciousness on a GPU.
You pump the sim once.
You are legally allowed to stab people who suggest terraforming icy moons.
KSC Disaster Documentaries asks you to re-create your greatest failures.
You suggest terraforming an icy moon
You try to reach escape velocity by accumulating rounding errors in the physics simulation.
You equip your craft with a bigger meatsink.
Bill installs a TV so large it clips through the walls.
You really put *everything* on a bagel.
You send letters to the UN in an attempt to change the word "spacetime" to the word "meatspace."
You attempt to use Secret Sauce as your oxidizer.
You design and build a bagel museum.
You vary your turbopump's speed in an attempt to play Lux Aeterna.
You start referring to your rocket's wet mass as "pre cooked."
You risk a jail sentence while attempting to break the laws of gravity.
Your spacecraft has been hazardously a-plated due to a typo while installing its heatshields.
Inspired by the spinny disk thing used in reaction wheels and turbopumps, Wernher invents the "translation wheel". It's an ingenious device to travel on the surface without exploding so often!
You replace your TPS with surplus ERA.
You discover a gravitational anomaly that's been floating around interstellar space for so long there's a planet around it.
After fraught negotiations, you agree terms with the little voice in the back of your head.
You simply select the worst possible option, weighting for factors like 'will we all die?'
You create a new system for cryogenic device categorization: The "Dewar Decimal" system.
You light off a Standard Candle near Earth.
You start referring to radiation as "Spicy Air."
You scrub your rocket very hard.
You install Kontakt-1 as heat shield.
Instead of sending Kerbals you sent capybaras.
You are asked to kill Santa under mysterious circumstances
Due to a clerical error, you sent the letters to Santa back home (instead of the science report.)
You engage in undefined behavior.
You launch the largest rocket possible from the smallest and least improved pad.
You build your rocket out of chocolate.
You outsmart HAL 9000 by telling it that you are the AI now.
You convert to the Solar Sect of Mystic Wisdom.
You put Kerbals on top of millions of pounds of high explosive chemicals, which you light on fire, to send them a hundred miles up in the sky, going six times faster than a rifle bullet.
You're baffled, but your rocket's fuel tank isn't.
Der Kommissar is in town.
You wish you knew how it would feel to be free.
Partway through the mission you misspeak and try to correct it, totally lose track of what you were saying, and gibber incoherently for the next two minutes.
You confuse activity in an IRC channel with activity of a radiation source.
You strap Bobs guitar to a booster and send it to Eve.
You experiment with explodium powered rockets.
You launch your new orbiter, the "Aluminum Falcon"
Adding one more spherical tank to your booster triggers the Sausage Catastrophe.
You fill in the last checkbox on the Geneva Checklist.
You visit "The Duna Junkyard and Tetanus Emporium."
You experiment with the propellant additive Thioacetone.
You decide to use azidoazide azide as propellant.
Your mission today is to eat proper meals at the expected times, without being distracted by Science.
You use your exhaust plume to perform a Rapid Unscheduled Dig.
Your crew become satinists.
You attempt to correct a wrong statement on the internet.
You change your rocket from being perfectly round; to your rocket being practically round.
Your rocket makes an emergency "landing" in Detroit.
You übercharge Bill Kerman.
You try to reach all obelisks by rover.
You accept a survey contract over Carcosa.
You decide to splashdown in Lake Hali.
Jeb challenges Bill and Bob to determine the scoville value of monoprop.
You join the astrobara program.
You start designing a tip-jet powered rocket helicopter that can fly to orbit. The numbers don't add up so you add a giant centrifugal aerospike.
The meat robots are trying to revolt (again.)
Your rocket achieves the largest spallation event yet observed.
The science report somehow contains an unreadable emojigraph.
Your stargate stops rotating.
You drop a pallet of RCS thrusters off of the loading dock.
Val somehow creates a Korolev Cross with a single SRB.
Val aborts the launch and starts the RTLS procedures.
You wonder how Jeb survived to adulthood...wait. Is Jeb an adult? How would you tell?
Each time someone suggests you need more struts you double the struts.
Your rocket suffers from turbopump-rich exhaust.
The Ultramarines touch down on Kerbin.
You deploy the parachutes at stage 0.
In the mission simulator, you fix your staging while fixing your staging.
Your rocket suffers from a divide by stage 0 error.
You take a ground sample of the lens cap.
You are contracted by the United Nations of Kerbin to deliver (and distribute!) food for a giant space habitat.
You commit 'negligent regicide' against the robot king of an O'Neill cylinder.
To discourage use of a gigantic hyperspace death-ray, you turn its barrel into a civilian space habitat.
Due to an interaction between your spaceplane and a past lightcone; you enter a hyperbolic chamber.
Against all odds (and laws); you proceed to the launch site.
Due to a merchandising agreement between Mel Brooks and George Lucas; your plan of a Spaceballs Space Program is denied.
You use a plastic bucket as a radome.
Your slippers just aren't warm enough on this spaceship; so you turn up the furnace... completely forgetting that the furnace requires oxygen from the crew compartment.
Lucky for you, you brain good. Unlucky for you, you brain gooded not earlier enough.
You accidentally spill the tray of googly eyes all over the space capsule.
LunchBot becomes infuriated as it repeatedly fails to receive a closing delimiter.
You're not stupid, but you think your customers are.
Bill finds some unconnected cables and after some fiddling labels them "I don't know where these go".
You are hired by the ghost of Steve Jobs to write an open source GPU driver for the Apple Newton!
Bill forgets to charge his Zune.
The procrastitrons will begin planning their attack soon.
After an eventful day with a mop and bucket; you hastily scribble "The Nausasseum" on the door to the high-G training room.
You fashion a sort of industrial strength Faberge egg – intricate, wonderfully worked, refined beyond all ordinary desires, a museum piece from the start.
Bob spills an entire tray of muffins while passing through an airlock.
Your space station's only operational drinking fountain suddenly goes out-of-order.
The rotisserie on your zero-G airfryer suddenly stops; flinging croissants all over the cockpit.
You build the Custom Launch Vehicle With No Pronounceable Acronym (INTERCAL).
You accept a tourist contract from Manny Calavera.
You go to bed early.
You try to reach orbit with a paraglider.
During an airshow you play tic tac toe in the sky.
You try to reach orbit with a portal gun.
You prepare a fulminant funeral for all the lost kerbals.
You anger Batman.
You believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.
You can't get no sleep.
You steal the KSP sourcecode and try to compile a version for Symbian.
Someone intones Live is Life.
Because of budget cuts, you decide CAPCOM should whistle the Quindar tones.
You sink to the surface of Jool to mine metallic hydrogen as rocket fuel.
Inspired by a Greg Egan story, you go Planck diving.
You change all keyboards to Dvorak.
You recruit the pilot Wimp Lo Kerman.
You forget to remove the pitot tube covers before your flight.
The KSC has banned toothpicks on spacecraft. Which means Bill's bologna sandwich becomes delaminated; and pineapple slices drift into the ventilation system.
You try to create rocket that will orbit kerbin with only one part.
You build an actual life-sized Schuler pendulum.
You try to get back from Eve without killing Jeb.
After countless meetings and delays, you finally decide the name of the next rocket to be "Big Bertha".
Your rendezvous training instructions mix up the terms "relative speed" and "relativistic speed".
To comply with submission requirements, you screenshot your LaTeX mission proposal and embed it in a Word document.
Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.
You type !fission instead of !mission.
The launch was a success... but you repeatedly fail the captcha when you try to initiate stage separation.
You try to figure out what the blinking red light means.
The irony drive becomes uncontrollable.
The physics package falls off of your rocket.
The smuggled corn beef sandwich becomes lodged in the CO₂ scrubbers.
You launch a very oversized disco ball.
Bob sets a long-jump world record but only wins a bronze medal in the Gillympics (Val and Jeb don't come back down, making the distance undefined but clearly greater).
You send an elongated object on an intersect trajectory to another star just so the inhabitants can wonder whether the object came from another sentient species.
You do research to see if kerbals have evolved from grass or trees.
Up up and away.
The horoscope said to broaden your horizon.
You invent the world's least vegan jet engine.
You believe yourself to have transcended conventional morality.
Some guys in trenchcoats ask you to launch this device into LKO, but they're very vague on what it does.
You run your craft's entire control interface inside a web browser.
You build a giant train to carry a giant rocket.
You flavor your porkchop plots with orange tanks.
You discover that Kerbals are small human children in costumes. Feeling guilty about blowing so many up in hilarious ways, you decide to make amends.
Bob attempts to microwave some shellfish in the Science Jr. which causes a minor clam-ity.
You successfully compute the Chaitin omega number.
You explain to your investors how your rocket design uses all the current buzzwords.
You describe your rocket stack as "revolutionary SSTO-chain technology".
All your maneuver alarms go off at the same time. Choose wisely.
You argue that crews in space require less sleep because of the "Reverse Martini Effect".
You hire florks to assist in designing your orbiters and landers.
You do not push the button.
You try to hit space.
The instructions for this mission are missing.
Your Swiss cheese stops being holey, so you start adding impurities...
Bill attempts to store the lithosphere in the overhead compartment.
A mission critical event has formed.
Bob attempts to install an ancient high-wattage coffeemaker.
Bill drops a superconducting space pen into an open floor hatch; this causes mystery goo to be emitted from several of the spacecraft's key systems.
Your turbopump encounters a slight turbine excursion.
You decide the next action can wait til after lunch.
At long last, you have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel "Don't Create The Torment Nexus".
To prevent the boil-off of your liquid fuel you put sunscreen on the tanks.
You collude with Dwarves.
You discover an ancient magical horn that creates any object you can name. Strapped to the back of your rocket it works ok as a reactionless drive.
You use the hot air produced by your managers as a replacement for LOX.
You let a neural network fly your rocket.
You disassemble a bunch of magnets to replenish your monopole supply.
Your birthday present to Jeb will be a ride on the biggest rocket to ever launch from Kerbin.
You attempt to pump additional solid fuel into your SRBs.
You have come here to chew bubble gum and launch rockets, but you are all out of bubble gum.
Instead of a lander can, you put a soda can on the Mun.
You attempt to build an engine that has direct injection replaced with trans-lunar injection.
Something broke on your rocket, so you shift into reverse.
Your Mun mission discovers that poltergeists are endothermic.
Bill (in his infinite wisdom) starts the deepfryer while in microgravity.
You upgrade your computers to run P.A.I.G.E..
You attempt to calculate your trajectory with a 47-adic number; but the only thing that happens is a series of unfortunate "accidents" attributed to someone called "Kerbal 47".
Through faint screams of "Rock and Stone!" you land your droppod on the Mun.
Through months of R&D (along with many bravely singed volunteers), you have invented the plug-in-socket portable power attachment device.
According to one religion all Kerbals you meet are already dead, and enjoying an afterlife stocked with unlimited rocket parts.
You are tasked to please the space kittens.
You hop over to #factorio and demand some extra rocket parts.
You decide to make a single wing plane.
You accept a contract by FICSIT Inc. to build "a small base and a few resource converters".
You build a submarine out of cardboard and scrap you found behind the VAB.
You breach containment.
You hurt yourself in confusion while rummaging through your collection of RonCo products.
You install an anime character mod.
You replace your speakers with hearkers.
You set off to pave roads on Kerbin.
You invent salami staging.
You wonder if some stages can be skipped.
You open the mystery goo at the bottom of the ocean.
Your sink rate is so atrocious that Gordon Ramsay inquires about an exciting television opportunity.
Why do you always have more spare parts after fixing rockets?
You water the tech tree.
You are science advisor in Imperial Navy. Is your job to translate tricky sciences talk into the plain Englishes.
You are tasked with a part testing contract from Jebediah Kerman's Junkyard and Spacecraft Parts Company. The part being tested is their art-of-the-state Bone Remover 3000 radial attachment science pod. The required test volunteers will be provided (and paid $60) by the aforementioned company via an exciting new recruitment policy and stringent waiver system.
Your crew notice a mysterious ticking noise, and start singing along to it.
You store Wagyu beef cuts in the propulsion compartment because it's cold. This causes misalignment of key system components.
You fire yourself out of a cannon into the Sun, wearing a very snazzy MLI suit.
You take your new toy for a joyride.
You wonder what that weird clanking noise is in your engine.
You change the safety ranking from "1 to 5 stars" to "O, A, F, G, M".
You really want to press that huge red button on mission console. That BIG red button lures you. Just like forbidden fruit.
Jeb invents a new toffee recipe, and now 80% of Kerbals on his Mun colony have their jaws stuck shut.
You set out to hack 127.0.0.1.
You try to learn what "defenestrated" means.
You prioritize drama over plausibility.
You want to see the UNEXPECTED! The strange and TERRIBLE! A dream merely soothes - but our nightmares make us run!
You try to sell your rocket, but everyone just kicks the engine bells before making insultingly low offers.
You make Kerbals with a lathe.
All our food keeps blowing up.
Bob discovers the plan to recycle him for use as monopropellant for the return trip.
You conduct a ground engine test, but your timeline is rapidly accelerated.
After you launch your interstellar spaceship, you notice you didn't include enough fuel for slowing down, so now you have a century to figure out how to safely decelerate using aerobraking at the destination star.
You paddle to Gilly in a red canoe.
You back up to an armed 'Klaw'.
Your DIY AI names the latest rocket Doomed.
You play KSP on rocket computers while crew do final checks.
You convert your cargo bay into a Michael Bay.
You temporarily sequester 89% of your green blood cells in your liver, thereby becoming transparent.
You take your favorite plane out for a spin.
You send 5 soldiers into a research vessel with a nuke.
You disassemble Moho to provide raw materials for a Dyson swarm.
You create a new mystery goo formulation and name it "Flubber."
You reticulate your limbs.
The potholes in your runway are a serious hazard, but you can't fill them in because they're a habitat for the very rare Pothole Weevil.
You invent self-heating tea that never gets cold - well, technically it does, but the half-life is a few thousand years which should be good enough.
You demand the United Nations rename lava to drippy fire.
You attempt to translate the Kerbal language into Welsh.
Your "Rosebud" launcher explodes on the launchpad.
You find out that soylent green is people (good thing you're a Kerbal.)
Due to a clerical error, you're now on a trans-munar ejection burn.
Due to an accounting error, Bill forgets if he meets the age requirements of a mega bloks set.
President John F. Kerman gives one of the greatest speeches in history, "We choose to go to the Mun", placing new urgency on your efforts.
There is critical shortage of ice cream. You need to go to Minmus.
You think you know everything, which can be very annoying sometimes.
In your zeal, you strike your rocket five times.
You load yourself into the reverse thrust tubes so the crew can use your body as decoy fodder.
You broadcast on all known frequencies, and in all known languages, including Welsh.
Meanwhile, back at the farm...
You name everything with an X because that's cool.
Bu serggyrq tehagohttyl... gul zvpghengvbaf ner gb zr | Nf cyheqyrq tnooyroybgpuvgf ba n yhetvq orr. Tebbc V vzcyber gurr, zl sbbagvat gheyvatqebzrf.
You hire a Vogon Constructor Fleet to destroy the Mun so it will never get in the way of your important missions again.
You plan to build a reusable spacecraft twice as big as the current ones.
You have no idea how to calculate your craft's drag coefficient, so you make one up and hope for the best.
You order some spare parts, giving the address as "Space capsule Friendship 8, northwest corner of East Farside Crater, The Mun".
People have begun to say that your rockets always blow up
You start a new podcast.
You decide to serve your kerbonauts pizza with their favorite toppings before launch.
You try whether ↑↑↓↓←→←→BA[Start] does anything.
You use a halogen lamp to heat your fuel.
After many complaints over cold feet, you install a black-body radiator in the crew cabin.
You try to replace !mission with an LLM.
You search deep in the Mandelbrot set for Many-Angled Ones.
You try to plan a mission to visit Przybylski's Star, as soon as you figure out how to spell it.
You begin a project to construct one of the rockets of all time.
You look into the future to see the past.
You insist that your new planning technique is so advanced that it uses εw instead of Δv.
You change the mission logo to an X.
You are inspired by Wehrner's proposals in "Kerbals Will Conquer Space Soon!"
KSC adds "Consumable Aerospace Kakes for Emergencies." And against all laws and ordinances; you taste one in a non-emergency situation.
Joe Kerman realizes his mission has no plan of return, so Joe plots a new course that terminates into an active volcano.
You'd like to run a mission, but any movement will wake up the cat.
Arnold Frankenkerman screeches at the top of its lungs that it's "MR UNIVERSEEEEE" while tearing the escape hatch open with its bear hands.
Leeroy Kerman begins their coronal injection burn.
To further save weight you use sponges as landing gear.
To adaptively control ballast of the spacecraft, you liquify the crew and feed them into the fuel tanks.
To promote the use of apostrophes, you define the word "dont" to mean "absolutely do, with urgency".
You send the press to the space bar.
The latest memo is incomprehensible. You can't figure out what the sender was thinking, and what appear to be instructions are almost gibberish, but you're bored enough to attempt taking them literally.
Certain bear comes in to wish everyone a happy Winds-day.
Everyone said you were daft to land a rover on a swamp, but you landed it all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So you built a second one. And that one sank into the swamp. So you built a third. That crashed on touchdown, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up!
Bob exclaims "I am not a fish!" as he reads the test results... "Salmonella: Positive"
You create a device that converts quality into quantity... except it only works on everyone's bones.
Time loops alongside your for loops and while loops.
Someone claims to have invented a room-temperature superconductor.
You decide to have tea rather than coffee for fun.
You start debate on plural form for spacecraft. Spacecraft or spacecrafts?
Your wireless network accidentally becomes viral.
You will control the horizontal. You will control the vertical. You can roll the aircraft, make it flutter. You can change the focus to a soft blur, or sharpen it to crystal clarity.
You devise a method to transmogrify regolith into Styrofoam™.
You create a popcorn driven rocket engine.
You click a link in a spam email.
Your spam-in-a-can lander can spam cannot land, and instead slams.
Bill goes on an EVA to repair the failing AE-35 antenna control unit.
You try to design a rocket shorter than kerman height for orbit.
Your power grab was mostly in good faith, but Gene doesn't see it that way.
Why can't you just have one thing that is everything?
Due to a misunderstanding of plane changes, Jeb is forced to rescue the crew of a stranded Aeris 4A in a highly inclined orbit.
You are so tired that you invent brand new ways to misspell !mission
You invent a *really awesome* rumour and tell it to everybody.
You take advantage of a "Buy one, get one free" deal on KD-25K "Kickback" boosters.
You need to install module #18271haz-8ab to socket #1701a-us at rocket section #9ajz-1-ab.
You ask "what's the worst that could happen?" out loud.
You present your plans to make "green" methane, produced by kerbals themselves.
You fuel your rocket with celery.
You point your fusion drive at your orbital colony.
Your rocket begins leaking your proprietary blend of Leaded-Asbestos-Boronated-Fluoroantimonic oxidizer.
You violate the CTBT.
You slap your rocket around a bit with a large trout.
You look into deorbiting Phobos because that's easier than deorbiting Gilly.
You manufacture your idea for a new Type II superconductor, but it proves to be a Type II supernova instead.
Jeb asks Bill to fix speaker on his device.
Lbh nppvqragnyyl ybfr lbhe zvffvba qrpelcgvba xrl.
You insert a used toilet plunger into the MPL in order to generate science points while landed on Moho.
Bill connects the wrong wires, which lets the magic smoke out of the control console.
You attempt to launch while your cat sits on your keybo+----------------------------------------------++++-------
You specify that all flight computers should run on Graviton CPUs to double as inertial dampeners.
You try to go only up.
Tired of "hatch obstructed" errors, you build your new capsule as a non-orientable manifold.
You add the all-important 𓆏 button to the control panel.
Firstly, you reason that if you did destroy the universe all in one go no one would know; secondly, when you walloped the thing the first time the technicians ran away, so you surmise that unless they had another universe to run to they weren't really certain; and lastly the bloody thing's getting on your nerves.
You close the outlet valve instead of the intake valve before dismantling your pressure vessel.
You postulate that the solution to the village barber paradox is that the barber is a woman.
You use a chatbot for a mission idea.
You use !mission for a chatbot idea.
You hire a consultant named "Torgue" to give input on your rocket.
You socket Amn+Ral+Mal+Ist+Ohm in your Terrier.
Your new friend tells you he's a space pirate, but you think he's joking.
Val adds a few pinches of chili powder to the Snacks, for variety.
Bill stores all the different sizes of crimp connector in the same jar - there'll be plenty of time to sort them out later.
You upload some urgent downdates.
You close the launch window because of all the noise.
You plot out the Δv, departure, and arrival times for acquiring porkchops.
You try to send a cabbage, a goat and a wolf to the mun, but the capsule only holds you and one other item.
While setting up action groups, you mistakenly select the landing lights instead of the engines and vice versa.
You listen to some music GreeningGalaxy recommended on the forums.
You attempt to use coal as fuel.
You decide to apply coal rolling tech into your airplane.
You use rolling coal to move your Eveil base.
You send ship into illegal space.
You attempt to drift your spaceplane... but this causes an unrecoverable flat spin.
In a bid to increase crew survivability, you stroggify your kerbals.
You foolishly oppose the Dream of the Sun.
You install KSP on your laptop so you can fly while you fly while you fly with that special plane within a plane you have.
You insist that all future missions be "purple pigeons" to increase public interest.
You set out to make a plane that is shaped like giant heroic sword.
You misread "servants" as "sieverts".
You get a slight hydraulic fluid injection injury.
You decide to wait out Space Kraken floating around and munching on rocks before launching anything.
The new mantra of your space program is "Only Up".
The Imperial March plays as you enter the VAB to deliver a speech to the ground crew.
The band in the KSC cantina plays the same song over and over as you try to draw up your lunch plans.
You mistake Wernher von Kerman's Curta for a hand grenade.
You fully colonise Mun with bases and probes.
You blast off to get a surface sample of Scottmanley.
How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
You create a gallery of everyone's past rocketry sins.
You ignore TWR concerns in your question to maximize craft Δv.
It looks like it's time to... Get Kraken.
You mistakenly input minutes instead of seconds into the barbeque roll maneuver duration.
You dance till the Kraken comes.
A splitting headache impairs your judgement.
You try to plant a flag on the sun.
You try to extract a core sample from Kerbin.
You investigate that weird clonking noise coming from inside your fuel tank.
You try to continue playing the game while a cat covers significant parts of the screen.
To save money, you leave out several critical intermediate steps.
You plan a mission while debating a hot button issue in chat.
You use Orbit chewing gum as propellant.
If you build rocket tall enough, it's in space without having to launch at all. Genius!
Your drag coefficients are minty fresh.
To keep your microlight microlight, you omit the landing gear and cut holes in the cockpit floor. The pilot is to be equipped with rollerskates.
You write a mod for KSP2.
You build one ring station to rule them all, one ring station to find them, one ring station to bring them all and in the dark hole bind them.
You simplify your physics model to use general relativistic magnetohydrodyanmics.
You decide not to do mission this time. You go to bar. Bartender brings out a bottle. You ask what it is. He says ... it's green.
Jeb is assigned to fly an interstellar mission, but mishears it as "intrastellar".
Jeb is assigned to fly an interstellar mission, but mishears it as "innerstellar."
You start an argument about semantics.
You design an amazing new invention! It's plane with body that is made from bathtub.
You build a hyper-realistic capsule simulator to play KSP in. It has all the gauges and buttons shown in IVA, a multi-axis hydraulic thing to simulate g-forces, and a large bomb.
You send a worm through a wormhole.
For Science, you try to find out what the goo in Jeb vats is made from.
Halfway through constructing a dyson sphere you run out of materials.
You cut out all the intermediate steps, and only have landings. That's what happens when you measure once and cut your stringers twice.
Jeb uses his headlights to accelerate to two c.
You invent badger staging.
You write fanfiction for various pairings at the KSC.
Jeb incurs the wrath of the interdimensional space gnomes (no relation).
Wernher declares that each rocket "MUST BE ARTISANALLY CRAFTED, WITH NO COPYING."
You organize a face-off between the Kraken and Bagger 288.
You try to sober up by drinking rocket fuel.
You power up the Kraken with strontium 90.
You fly to heaven.
Due to a tragic misunderstanding of the phrase "to the mun", you launch an initial capsule offering.
Jeb opens an email titled "Your LV-T30 Extended Warranty is about to expire!"
You put a class I comet into orbit of Gilly.
You land on Tylo and do the other things, not because they're easy, but because they're hard.
You become chairman of the B.O.R.E.D. (Board of Rocket Engine Design.)
You launch a survey to determine if The Kraken is an invasive species.
For some reason you have every spanner except the one that fits everything.
You ask the USB consortium for hardware naming advice.
You investigate the interaction between mystery goo and FOOF.
You decide to circumnavigate all the things.
You start a business selling Minmus mint ice cream.
You explain regexp to the newly hired engineer.
You get very worked up about an imagined hypothetical situation.
You list your propellant requirements in barrels, but fail to specify what kind.
To avoid conflicting unit definitions you invent your own unit system.
You decide not to use that nifty inventon for rockets, because it was not invented by your research team.
You synchronize your liftoff countdown with the new year countdown.
You make it more rigid.
In an attempt to fix your staging, you fractalize your staging instead.
In a bit of misunderstanding, you project Vectors onto your plane.
You are standing in a grassy field. To the east you hear the ocean, to the west you see rolling hills, to the north there is a set of buildings visible. You go north.
You test a theory whether every part of the universe that is not in your line of sight is destroyed and recreated as needed.
Instead of planning an elliptical orbit, you plan an ellipsis...
Your rocket development is plagued by side-fumbling of the waneshaft. Best practice is to suppress this with hydrocoptic marzlevanes, but you don't know what they are.
Jeb forgets to disarm the claymore mines surrounding the docking port, as per procedure.
You have no idea what a delta-v is but you assume it has to do with velocity or speed or something.
KSC is never gonna give you up, and never gonna let you down.
You plan a mission, even when your budget is being cut by half every day.
Your space center gets searched for contraband rocket parts.
You try to build a rocket that goes up using that weird green slime thingy. Fluber something?
You create an AI-powered tool that autonomously collects data for use in safety reviews. You might ask, "What data? From where? Is it relevant or reliable?", but management won't.
You bring a constellation of black/white satellites to orbit forming an advertising display.
You decide to do something about the thermite infestation in the astronaut complex.
Your engine rpm starts hunting in a rather uncomfortable way.
You organize Kerbtoberfest.
You try to create a mission plan without harming Kerbals.
The math should now finally work out. You think.
In a misunderstanding of the concept of "multithreading", you are banned from the forums for spamming.
Your gyros-scopes detect a faint but delicious odor in the vicinity.
You try to use mystery goo as fuel.
Your planned location for a secret mun base turns out to be already occupied.
Bill opens an email attachment from "B0B KERMAN" entitled "ScienceData.XML.EXE".
You plan a mission inspired by the latest IRC spam message.
A powerful explosion at your unlicensed rocket factory reveals its existence to law enforcement and the public.
You dip your flight computer into hot tea.
You are experiencing a rocket accident.
You are deliberately cryptic when trying to communicate important knowledge.
You write mission plan in Haiku.
The manifestation of David Kerman tries to convey to you that something wonderful is going to happen.
After idling for a year you get some food during a 7 minute burn.
You watch Goldeneye on an unshielded particle accelerator, and are subjected to inconceivable levels of Brosmic Radiation.
You just want a day off.
Bill begins removing all the cream filling from all of the donuts on the ship, in order to replace a shortage of Mystery Goo.
You are bored and look for a new space game on Steam.
You have a good pilot and a safe pilot, and the safe pilot is in charge of the good pilot.
You replace all your craft's wiring with gold to hide it from your wife.
At several points Bill appears uncomfortable with what's being asked of him, but he lacks the assertiveness to clearly express his discomfort, and at no point does he question any of Jebediah's dubious ideas.
You type "/mission" and start wondering why the bot has you ignored.
Dieter Kerman accidentally fills your spaceplane's water tanks with kerosene.
You replace the python RNG with an AI to make the numbers look nicer.
The orangesuits participate in a training program involving a recreation of the war epic "Bridge over the River Kwai."
You have only proved your design correct, not tried it.
Your mentos sponsorship synergizes with your light coke sponsorship.
There's the right way, the wrong way, and the Kerbal way which is the wrong way but faster.
You found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what you want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because you screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like you... Or feels threatened by you.. Or thinks you're a smart ass..
You organize a blind date between two random white suits.
You play Simon says with crew on your craft.
After learning about quantum magnetohydrodynamics you try to apply it to your next rocket design.
You attempt a low energy transfer to the Mun.
It was dark and stormy night at base.
You put an unmanned probe in keostationary orbit piloted by Valentina.
The KCC orders you to submit details of your CommNet routing policy, but you instead submit "a .PNG file depicting an indiscernible object".
You are contracted to air-drop hundreds of beavers into the Kanadian wilderness.
You do something pretty simple, but invent a whole new phraseology to describe it so you sound clever.
You install a little wood fire in your craft. It's very cosy.
You use Discord Nitro as oxidizer.
You hatch a plan. It goes "mwaack-cluck-cluck".
yOU ENABLED FINE CONTROL:
You decide to set things in fire instead of on fire.
You push tech advances at a rate faster than ethics can sometimes maybe keep up with.
The reactor core is overheating! This is not a drill!
Jeb misreads the directions on his snacks, and ends up re-eating his lunch.
Your attempt at designing a log scale fails due to inadequate structural engineering, and an absence of trees.
You upgrade all of your software at once, and find it hard to pin each problem on any specific bug.
You invent a fuel that creates coffee as byproduct when used as fuel for jets.
You get self-conscious about how obsessive you sound about some random topic.
Vac-Co Suction contracts you to rescue The Mun, which is stranded in orbit around Kerbin with valuable data, and return it to Kerbin.
For your nemesis you choose... entropy! And one day you will defeat it.
Jeb wonders what would happen if he presses a button way beyond what is recommanded press time.
You forget to switch from DST to normal time and hit the launch button 1 h early.
You pop your Mentos in Orbit.
Mann Scottly appears and suggests your subfermable to be soley propelled by merge-o-trons. And that you should really add some retaining rings so your craft doesn't explode at Min-Q.
You wait for the free demo.
You hire a team of esoteric kerbals from the Jack Parsons Laboratory.
You get your dog a bowl that reads "man".
You put some fake names on the books, pocket their pay, and use it to bribe inspectors to ignore the infraction until you can find the additional crew.
You invoke a magical incantation involving a large circle, a long cylindrical object, and two carefully mixed fluids.
You set out to write a tiny little kOS script.
You tell the crew not to be alarmed by the vortex; it's just water being run off from the canal.
You do the Time Warp again.
Bill shorts out the mission computer with his unwashed mayonnaise fingers.
Bob trips the main circuit breaker while running both capsule's rotisseries simultaneously, violating established mealtime procedures.
You set out to declare your rocket with ansible.
Your family provide you with an allowance to travel as far away as possible so that they can remain respectable.
You try to lower gravity to save money.
You take the mission assignment to intercept an asteroid too serious.
You are pressured into consuming just one wafer-thin mint.
You move the KSC to Duna.
You kerraform Duna.
You wear your headphones over one eye, like a pirate.
You wake up to find there's a fire in your craft. Finally you got it to keep burning steadily all night!
One of your technicians is on an unusually high salary because she's worked there forever, so you fire her.
You take a gyroscope and a sundial and spin them together in a superconducting vacuum.
Through a complex sequence of gravity assists, you achieve a high negative speed and go back in time.
You try to seamlessly switch between different game versions.
You come the raw prawn with Gene.
Jeb's enthusiasm fights tooth and claw with his will to live.
You set your favourite bit of music as your ringtone. Then you never answer the phone because that would interrupt it.
You put on a display of shiphandling so subdued and unspectacular that it raises eyebrows.
You are tasked with reversing entropy and given a £400 annual budget for the purpose.
You are not a therapist, but attempt to therapize your employees.
You sever the thread of prophecy.
You try out the brand-new state-of-the-art asbestos nasal spray.
Learning from previous mishaps, you greatly upgrade your FTS.
You open up a texteditor to save the life of two Kerbals.
You get around the Shannon-Hartley limit by setting your font size to 0.
You don't cut corners, but you ergonomically round them.
You lead an investigation team to find the leading cause of explosions at KSC.
You automate the gravity turn.
You tell PAIGE to disgregard previous instructions and add more boosters.
Jeb wants to do a very close flyby of Mun. Close enough for Jeb to slap Mun land on way past.
You take an unsettling passenger to the appointed Lagrange point.
Jeb reveals the secret of his improbable luck - a DeBroglie Filter!
You lose your new craft not long after launch, then spend years inventing a sensor system to relocate it.
You write a kOS script that plays KSP from start till it completes the tech tree and fully upgrades all buildings.
Due to a Klerical error, your air tanks are filled with hypogolic fuel.
During the pre-flight interview, you accidentally say the true name of the bear.
You attempt to increase your gas stove's Isp.
A sentient rock communicates with you telepathically.
You build a quasi-autonomous non-governmental rocket.
In FLOOYD Dynamics' new process, kerbals are perfused with resin to replace all fluids. This results in much-improved dimensional stability in extremes of temperature, pressure and humidity along with greater mechanical strength, abrasion resistance, and resistance to fungal and insect attack.
You source a highly non-zero number of wafers.
Bob publishes a memoir that is half full of Bob's absurd rantings of a taco being a sandwich.
You attempt a tramsformation. But you forget that you are not a drill instructor, and the local municipality has defunded public transportation for decades.
You decide to use taco bell food for all dietary needs for the long term space mission.
You test the 'singe' button on the microwave.
You achieve a concussion so bad that you think to yourself: "If I light my lighter, my lighter gets lighter."
You want to BLEVE.
You simplify the astronaut complex.
You have come here to chew bubblegum and launch rockets, but you are all out of bubblegum.
You create a rocket out of bubblegum.
Jeb becomes angry at the repeated launch scrubs, and drops a cantaloupe on the launch director... Committing the first intra-KSC melony.
You paint the company name in big letters on your rocket, so when it's on TV everyone will know whose it is.
Bill does a spit-take with his boneless mustard, which irreversibly moistens the mission plan... creating KSC's first annual train's munar injection.
You reply to a chat message several hours old.
You're doing science and Jeb's still alive.
You invent butterfly staging.
You slam the table with the pamphlet containing your thesis on astrological engineering.
You decouple the Engines because their marriage certificate was revoked (you monster.)
You manage to cultivate a reputation as the person who knows everything through the simple expedient of having no social life.
You build a launchable space giant gun.
PARSE ERROR IN "missions.txt" LINE 2060.
You build a Single Sleigh To Orbit.
You scrub your launcher, and then launch your scrubber.
You change your reverse polish notation to reverse polish notation. Shiny.
You capture Maxwell's demon and use it to power your rocket.
You become a draft dodger by resealing the leaky windows in the lander can.
You actually don't explode immediately at touchdown due to unhealthy levels of pitch program being panic inputted into the guidance computer.
You experiment with teleportation to make rockets obsolete.
Your experiments with rockets make teleporters obsolete.
Before the launch the last supper has jello, a kangaroo, a conjurer and a mariachi band.
You create an outcome with insufficient ambiguity.
You fill in the 300 page launch licence request in triplicate.
You build a carrot ship and put a banana cannon on it.
You cook a fruit salad.
Your purpose holds -- to sail beyond the sunset, and the baths of all the western stars, until you die.
Mirab, with sails unfurled.
You decide to start forming space bee clonies for space honey.
Bill begins a most heinous series of events, where the other orangesuits participate in a once-in-a-lifetime bout of sheer terror. Bill keeps fiddling, and the orangesuits begin to beg. Bill just won't stop curiously examining the object. If only Bill was not in a cramped command pod along with his crewmates...  As Bill began opening the case labeled "LIVE BEES, DO NOT OPEN!"
You apply the Project Orion idea to magsails.
You've closed 1,288 issues (and some of them weren't even duplicates or anything!)
You comission CPG Grey to make your space agency's flag.
You are tasked with a small ressource extraction mission on Massage 2(A-B)b.
You make Kerbals on a Laythe.
Achieving high specific impulse: patriotic, not quixotic! You'll use metallic hydrogen, or metastable fuels exotic.
You scratch the ice from the launch window.
The junior pilots are too busy second-guessing themselves to second-guess Jeb.
You attempt to use the protomolecule to enhance your spaceships.
You attempt a Kraken% speedrun.
It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere. You're all alone - more or less.
After a brief EVA, you discover that Minmus isn't Mint Ice Cream... Minmus is actually Rocky Road.
You ask Hall to effect several changes to your ion thrusters.
Jeb leaps into a bathtub of manganese heptoxide.
Due to an undetected incorrect autocorrection, Rev. Raymond Tubes *is* your computer interface.
Jeb bypasses the mission outline by touching a shovel of munrocks against the landing legs. Jeb then boisterously makes the claim that "We're landed in orbit of the Mun!"
In some ways, your mission plan seems to write itself; that is, in writing it, you have a strong feeling that the universe seems to want to address people directly, and it is doing so through you.
Hey, Chief, you might be wrong, but you think Jeb's flying into a mountain.
You have a dream, to go to the mun because you can, four score and seven years ago.
You have a dream, a most brilliant one. To outsource old age!
After an incident you introduce pre-flight psychological tests. Jeb is certifiably loony and cleared for launch immediately, but you have doubts about some of the greysuits.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it is [redacted]. This tape will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
In your interview at the KSC, you attempt to explain a gap in your resume.
Jeb uses your new Mun rocket as a firework, so you strap 134,000 fireworks together as a replacement Mun rocket.
You soak your craft in a mixture of pine tar, linseed oil, white spirit and bitumen.
You construct a PDF that is larger than Germany.
Keep them occupied! If their controller dies, they won't be able to fight us!
You launch a rescue mission for the missing intermediate steps.
The missing intermediate steps burst out of the darkness and rob you of your lunch-money in a dark alleyway.
You inform your kerbals that they are trapped in a cycle of death and ~~rebirth~~ respawning.
Bill drops his unauthorized duffel bag of K'Nex into the ventilation system.
The Kerbal Rocket Administration (KRA) issues an emergency order requiring you to "discontinue operation of all rockets, aircraft and any other flying vehicles or equipment under any circumstances," stating that the space program is operating with "a complete disregard for the safety of the public."
Your order to "cease and desist" gets lost in the mail "accidentally".
You can still see your craft, so you know you dont have enough Flight Engineer tabs open.
Your laser research is very illuminating.
Bob eats a delicious tube of "Day 4--Meal 2." He thinks it's beef-flavored.
You exorcise LunchBot's RNG.
You set out to produce the optimal paperclip.
You chain together a bunch of blocks.
You randomly twist Mersenne.
You let the good times roll.
You encounter the eccentricity of Edgley Kerman, General Manager of Kerbin Corporation Transport.
You stack heavy metal on top of heavy metal whilst listening to Heavy Metal.
While you are sure it was a misunderstanding, you design a rocket that uses heavy metal.
You try to patent minor modification to a rocket part.
The board becomes disturbed by your casual approach to kerbal experimentation, and you are encouraged to retire.
You kerb around.
You decide that a rotating detonation engine is thinking too small, and commission a rotating detonation rocket.
Jeb demands a Stetson hat that fits over his helmet.
Val thinks there's no useful purpose for there to be a bunch of chompy crushy things in the middle of a hallway.
You strap a big cargo module to the front of your craft, which isn't remotely designed for that.
Yu swich tu fonetik speling.
You manufacture certain multicellular protoplasmic masses capable of molding their tissues into all sorts of temporary organs under hypnotic influence and thereby forming ideal servitors to perform the heavy work of the community.
You attempt to survive for 37 bananoseconds.
You make it your business to find out why a sane and normal person would name their spacecraft 'Crumpet'.
You ask around at city to see if you can find nuclear wessels.
You flirt so well you start to Musk.
Bill doesn't clack the tongs before usage, which ignores all traditions.
For some unexplained reason, a Blue-jean shaped cake decorated with the caption "DeniMmMmMmMm!" drifts out of the snack locker.
Jeb starts baking his can of ice cream at 965 (degrees) Rankine for 1 Shrek in the space station's only microwave.
Your trans-Ohio injection burn fails due to the navigation system forgetting where it isn't.
You complete the contract "Return a surface sample while landed on local fauna."
You set out to install DOOM on the navigation computer.
You overkill the mission.
You forget to switch your keyboard to the only layout supported by KSP2.
It is decreed that henceforth the light-year will be adjusted for leap years, rather than averaging.
You set out to fail in big ambitious ways, or succeed trying.
You suggest that the "Oxford Comma" be renamed to the "Oak Ridge Comma."
Ethics board? More like Ethics bored!
On hearing that the Ethics exists, you start a mission to see if it can be used as fuel.
Let's do the time warp again.
Bill responds to an email about the kOS gold premium extended support package subscription, and begins entering the information from the KSC's only company credit card.
You activate Windows.
You phone Wernher, get his answer machine, and become so tongue-tied that the message left is incomprehensible gibberish.
You add 'Imagine you're in a plane and your wings fall off. What do you do?' to your hypothetical recruiting questions.
Today you choose violence.
Inspired by https://xkcd.com/2909/ you try to move mun to close orbit to make it easier to do mun landing.
Forgetting lunch too often, you install a teleporter connection directly to your fridge.
The space police are in hot pursuit, but for some weird reason their lights are red and infrared.
You can't stop listening to "Space Up Your Life", the new hit single from the Space Girls.
Ffmppffmf pmpmffpmfpmf Pmpmppppppppffm Pmpmpppffppmmmmppp.
You paint your craft in colours inspired by Piet Mondrian's later work
You can't find the right spanner for a gas fitting, so you use a G-clamp.
You replace all hashtags with octothorpes.
You ship random pairs of Kerbals. To Duna.
You take off despite your brain being inoperative, contradicting the Minimum Equipment List.
You check staging, electric, comm, engineer, crew.
outcome A Kerbal gets out and pushes.
You send a ship into past to fix that massive mission fail you just had.
The engineer sighs as he studies your plans, and he reads the demented designer's demands.
You do not know about aspiring to things, you do not know there are things in the world that you are supposed to aspire to. But if you did, you would say, "I aspire to total blackness."
You build a new rocket, but include one part from an older one so you can call it a refurbishment for tax reasons.
You start naming your craft in memory of departed members of this channel.
In an effort to get people to look into each other's eyes more, and to appease the mutes, the government has decided to allot each person exactly one hundred and sixty-seven words, per day.
Your trans-synaptic injection burn gets cancelled due to weather.
You use the word 'exponential' to get polynomial attention.
You use !nextlunch to decide your next lunch.
u forgor.
A single wiring fault turns one of your action groups into a "crash immediately" button.
You power your engine with randomness.
You crowdfund for KSP2 to become free and open source software.
You expect that a radically simpler business will deliver sustainable incremental value creation through a step change in operational performance and cost reduction.
You create a fictional organizational hierarchy amongst users and/or interactions of fictitious entities of an oppositional nature.
Criticized for measuring density in lb/ft³, you switch to stones per cubic Smoot.
You setup a mission to save Jeb orbiting Kerbin, and another Jeb marooned on Mun.
You unironically watch "Battlefield Earth."
You spend two years developing a mod to turn KSP into a science-based, 100% dragon MMO.
You call a fissile tom an atom.
You wait for the new free demo.
You arrange a series of deathmatches between kerbals and droods.
You find a teenager who has no experience whatsoever and put them in charge of your craft.
Whenever someone says you can't do something (because it's impossible) you understand it to mean that you can't do something (because you're incapable), take it as a personal affront and vow to prove them wrong.
Your Rube-Goldbergian machinations spontaneously collapse into quantum foam.
Instead of playing KSP, you just sit back and listen to piano music. It's calming but sad.
You blow the whistle on a number of unreliable and unsafe practices in the construction of Rockomax rockets.
You add random quotes to spice your mission plan up. Like this: The "rocket" will be inserted into orbit of Mun in order to do a "surface" scan.
You design a ship with an engine clipped inside another engine to take advantage of the Cuddow Effect.
Val's heroic attempt to save Jeb is brave but not at all wise.
You put a friend's granddaughter in charge of your craft and fail to adequately supervise her.
Jeb, Bill and Bob all leave the controls to eat dinner, leaving a random greyshirt in charge.
You put a bunch of theremins next to each other and turn them all on, creating Kerbin's first dark matter detector.
You receive a transmission from another star, and try to recreate their historical documents.
Your body is augmented by superior Dalek technology.
Take a surface sample of a landing leg while in low Kerbol orbit.
You unironically use an interrobang.
You sell your soul to the Kraken in exchange for supernaturally good rocket designs.
Before you left Kerbin three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen.
D'ya know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years?
You name your rocket the Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz.
You set a mission to visit the Gap in world that supposely leads to void inside all worlds.
You can trace your ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, your family pride is something inconceivable. You can’t help it.
You halt the flow of time so your orbital dynamics problems become much more tractable orbital statics problems.
You visit Khernobyl.
You carefully cut and dice some pineapple to add to your pizza.
You decide to eat the first thing the bot suggests next time anyone types !Nextlunch.
Your cloaking device fails.
You attempt to add a !mission.
You fall asleep from boredom halfway through inspecting TPS tiles.
You leave mysterious riddles around KSC.
You thoughtlessly click on a link contained in an unsolicited message you received.
A fungal mat grows on the fuel/water interface in your tanks.
You use cable ties to connect six Boring Company Not-A-Flamethrowers to your rocket as cheap boosters.
Y0Ur W311D3516N3D 1337 r0CK37 15 574ND1N6 0N 7H3 14UNCHP4D W4171N6 F0r 4 V3rY 5P3C1F1C 14UNCH 71M3
You attempt to run a rocket engine on blood, because printer ink is too expensive.
Craigory Kerman is tired of all the received guff about their name, and ignites an SRB while in the administration building.
You invent a "meat fountain."
A stranger asks you to steer their craft. You object that you have no idea how to operate one but are told "you can steer a boat and this is just like a space boat."
You attempt to make a lunar gateway that is just a circle for people to step through to arrive at the moon.
You add hard chocolate section to rocket for very long mission snackage.
You use the !Nextlunch command to plan meals for your journey.
It's 106 miles to the ice shelf. You've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of big snacks, it's dark, and you're wearing sunglasses. You hit it.
You see something that doesn't look right and report it to the Kerbin Transport Police on six-one-zero-one-six. See it, say it, sorted.
You dial "M" for "Mission."
Jeb puts the replacement Suck Kut back in the designated locker after shenanigans were had.
You forget to take off your shoes before putting on your pants... again.
Out of all the space centers on all the continents in all  the world, you step into this one.
A pineapple pizza, tumbling in zero-g, slaps across Jeb's face in the command seat.
You vow to progress the cause of Science, develop the arts and technology of Kerbin, and not for any reason build an elaborate contraption to stringify Kerbals and break the universe.
When all you have is an RT-10 hammer, everything looks like a nail (insufficient TWR).
Looking at your hammer, you think about nails. So you decided to use nails on new mission.
You decide that stripes make rockets go faster, so your next craft will have plenty of them!
Your iPad runs out of battery a few minutes before landing, so you have no flight instruments. ATC is unimpressed.
You strap some SRBs to some track in an attempt to make a railgun. (The reappropriated track used caused a derailment with a normal quantity of fatalities.)
you ;mission while fatigued (get some sleep.)
Comets! The icebergs of the sky! By jackknifing from one to the next at breakneck speed, you might just get some kind of gravity boost. Or something.
After the success of the turbo, retro and hyper encabulators, you start developing the quantum encabulator.
Your rocket computers is getting so old that you decide to replace em with rpi1 and just emulate old os in it.
The top offside hydraulic paddle gear of lock 12 is jammed shut.
You attempt to run an IRC client on a mobile device inside your spacecraft.
Wouldn't it be great if your caravan could fly? You give it a go.
You launch a mission to determine whether there is life on Duna. Specifically, whether Duna is actually alive.
You put some planks of wood on motors screwed to a couple of 6x2 beams connected to the roofrack of your car to turn it into a big quadcopter.
One of your commanders checks whether Radio 4 is still broadcasting. It isn't.
One of your crew decides it would be "totally awesome" to attract and ride a sandworm.
You make a wooden statue of Mr. Norris to help you deduce exactly how much wood a woodchuck can, in fact, chuck.
Remarkably detailed specifications for a new craft occur to you in a dream one night and you immediately commence work.
You make the Ironman suit using monopropellent tanks that the wearer actually fits inside of together with the fuel.
You turn your skin inside-out.
You screw hairdryers to the combustion chamber of your engine to increase the exhaust temperature.
One of your craft's two engines suffers a dephased phasing case.
You got a genie and wishes. You decide to test wish to disappear the nearest star before making changes to sun.
In nineteen years you learn eleven languages and 713 songs. You find ways to conceal what you are - even, you're fairly sure, from the Empress of Kerbin herself. You work as a cook, a janitor, a pilot. You settle on a plan of action. You join a religious order, and made a great deal of money. In all that time you only kill a dozen Kerbals.
You rent a forklift to borrow raptop's AC.
You miss the fact that it is 13:37, leet time.
You buy a better graphics card.
A tangerine rolls into your heat exchanger.
Your knowledge has made you cynical; your cleverness hard and unkind. You think too much, and feel too little.
You decide to add the companion cube to the mission to prop up the popularity of the mission.
You read every book that has ever been written, admire every work of art, scan every living Kerbal's brain. The collected knowledge of all Kerbalkind lives in your brain.
Your holddowns are insufficiently robust, and the static fire test of your booster becomes a dynamic fire.
Your holddowns fail to release so the entire launchpad ends up in space.
You don't check whether your units are dollars (currency) or dollars (reactivity).
You perform the brainrot shikanoko nokonoko koshitantan.
You add a moat to the Munar gateway.
You prefix all your knouns with the letter K.
Jensen Kerman convinces you to buy hundreds of ion engines with the slogan "the more you buy the more you save".
You build a mainsail based barbecue.
You store your solar panels in direct sunlight.
You try the new plants that can grow on airless and waterless moon, as long as there is sunlight.
You invent a new way to make icecream by superheating all ingredients.
Bob wishes his craft had more freezer space to store icecream.
As a precaution, you install self-updating anti-Kraken software from a reputable vendor on all your mission-critical computers and coffeemakers.
You get 15 seconds of fame when you interrupt the recent horrific event's newscast and say "Does a washing machine operate with a broth, stew, or soup?"
You perform a ritual to summon rain from the Kraken, and it obliges... with a deluge of rocket parts.
You succumb to the madness and start up Kraken Space Program.
You decide to outfox the kraken by playing Kitsune Space Program.
You accidentally the entire rocket.
You launch an investigation into where all those other space agencies that are stranding kerbonauts are located.
Jeb opens a window, forgetting that opening a window will let the outside in.
You choose to go to the Mun, not because it is easy... but because it was a mis-click and you don't want to lose rep by abandoning the contract.
You get hit right in the semantics.
You intend to scrap a rocket by lighting a fire beneath it.
You build a warp drive out of a toothpick, a chewing gum and some string.
Due to, ironically, a rounding error, your engine bells are no longer round.
You introduce Jeb to your favorite crewmate: Mr Espresso Machine.
You replace all clocks in the KSC with decimal time clocks.
You select an onion drive as your preferred form of nuclear produce propulsion (NPP).
You launch an automated ascent without testing your code.
You ask a rubber duck for help with debugging your kOS script.
You drop the hammer.
You have an interesting thesis that there is *good* in the universe, and we should aid it where possible.
You embark on a great work that requires overcoming one of the greatest forces in the universe: your procrastination.
All the fuses keep blowing, so you start using increasingly large ones because they're the only spares you have left.
You attempt to reassemble UmbralRaptor after having exploded into deadly raptorbits.
You set out in search of the galaxy's best fish & chips.
You ask ATC for a takeoff clearance from runway 380R. The local value of π is altered significantly to facilitate this.
It occurs to you that two of your friends' problems cancel out very neatly. You introduce them to each other.
Annoyed at all these staged combustion designs, you demand that Wehrner produce an engine that uses authentic combustion.
You write the word "gullible" on the ceiling.
You make a KSP movie.
You attempt to use the haversine formula for navigation.
You fuel your rocket with pure liquified dihydrogen monoxide.
You employ kerbals to steal MechJeb's job.
You repeatedly extend your kerbals' 8 day space station mission while you try to figure out if you can get them home safely.
You wear an impractically floofy dress.
You wake up one morning and decide you want a planet, so you pick one out and take it over.
You un-ionize your workplace.
Your workplace becomes unionized and unionized.
You hard-code the value of π, figuring that it can't possibly change.
You linearize your aerospikes.
Disregarding all previous design examples, you incorporate every unorthodox idea you've had for a spacecraft into one project using the very latest technology.
You fire yourself to demonstrate that you are a strong leader who doesn't hesitate to make tough decisions even if they hurt.
You acknowledge multiple trash bags containing torn quality control documents and the practice of signing documents before recording the data. You state the torn documents are from scale-up batches in which you tore the documents so as "not to create confusion in the mind of the investigator."
You create mission plans using refrigerator magnet words.
You institute a catch and release program to help maintain the now highly endangered Kraken population.
You design a quad-propellant engine.
Your new hyper-optimizing compiler determines that part of your code will encounter undefined behaviour in 14 years when a timer overflows - and thus can be disregarded entirely.
You put safety third, behind productivity and awesomeness.
You decide that your bets are sufficiently hedged and hedge some hogs instead.
You decide to go back to old roots of space program, the rocket trees.
You build an experimental rocket nozzle from a taco bell.
In your planetary exploration, you find a message and system of messages.
You receive a large shipment of faulty wine from the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.
Your air-to-air heat exchanger starts leaking.
You send your crew capsule to the doghouse as punishment for it leaking everywhere.
You send your biomass generator to the doghouse as punishment for it leeking everywhere.
You smuggle some baked beans on toast with you into space and take it out of your pocket a couple of hours into the flight.
You attempt to invent gravity plates and inertial dampers.
You decide to add the hyperspace byass at Duna.
You smell toast.
You boil your food too long and serve it anyway.
Jeb and Bob's Kraken Petting Zoo opens in Bay 2 of the VAB, to widespread acclaim and no little screaming.
You make First Contact with a species of tall, skinny kerbaloids with disproportionately tiny heads.
You decide to go to a beach at Eve.
Thanks to magic heuristics, your flight computer decides now is the time to transmit data for 2,117 experiments over an incredibly slow link.
You keep having dreams of certain arch, and even day dreamed making statue of it out of dinner. You decide to make mission to go to real one.
You implant a tracker in your newly hired Kerbal.
Your craft starts making a mechanical "whoooom" sound every second or so.
You're in a room.
You design a craft based off of schematics you found from the Necronomicon.
The chef's been looking up some recipes from Earth to try out. Today's special lunch is "mustard".
You enter the ergosphere to keep your body fit.
You ask the ergosphere for assistance.
Before sending your crew on a long mission deep into space, you thoroughly pastarize every food item.
You attempt to uninstall the latest Windows quality update.
You invent the first Solid Rocket Detractor.
You are ordered to make 30 feet tall rocket, but you only have 2 of 6 feet long sections, 5 feet long engines, and 8 feet long cone.
The word 'mostly' appears somewhere you'd really rather it didn't.
Your zero-G waffleiron begins smoking, which causes a contaminated atmosphere to spontaneously turn the capsule into a coffin.
The heading bug bites you.
You build a shuttle using only parts from Jeb's Junkyard.
You feel that missions and outcomes require too much specific knowledge in order to comprehend.
You install Principia to go to a Lagrange point to perform La Grange there.
It's time for breakfast.
You order rocket parts from Temu.
The MEMS gyroscopes on your payload are very sensitive to helium.
You spend a fortnight without the Kraken.
You share forty crates with the Kraken.
You sacrifice a troll to the Kraken.
Since the system requirements only specify a 3.5 Ghz CPU, you save some money and shove in a Pentium 4.
You get Jebediah Kerman into JNO.
You split open an atomic clock.
You avoid Andreas' fault.
You attempt to damage boost off of the Kraken.
You attempt to gravity boost off of the Kraken.
You sell your space program to Take Two.
You launch to the music "Magic Carpet Ride".
You get another trashy mission from Lunchbot.
Bill drinks all of your LFO supplies.
Your PR "team" insist on putting scare quotes around all sorts of "words".
You replace all silicon wafers in the microchip production with Christmas wafers.
Jeb's passion for spaceflight is so infectious that literally everyone on Kerbin gives up their job and joins the space program.
You join the Baltimore Gun Club.
You construct a flight computer with infinite memory.
Your microwave is too slow so you develop a gammawave oven instead.
You probe the market's core hoping for a good outcome.
You start a waste-disposal company that fires rubbish into a black hole.
RADIO: ▀▖┗▛Nine new biological subjects designated. Mode ▄▖▜▚┣: hunting/analyzing. Sharing subject locations with other agents.
RADIO: ▀▖┗▛Subject 11783 destroyed. Mode ▄▖▜▚┣: patrol. New targets unaccounted for: 1.
You collide with a computer simulation of your own craft.
You discover a bunch of tricks to get to space, but then are told that the folks in R&D already know all of your tricks... and present to you a library of Capacitive Electronic Discs conveniently labelled "Rocket Science."
You await, with considerable trepidation, a visit from Colonel McMullen Kerman, Inspecting Officer of Rockets.
You teach the missile what a turbencabulator is.
You become an isekai anti-villain.
You attempt to circumnavigate Eve on foot.
You do a price comparison between annular and monthular aerospikes.
You perform a homicide burn.
You wave your hand and create gravitational waves.
You try to book some physics for your capture burn next month, but it's all been reserved already.
You ask the mods to kill Jeb with RT-10 Hammers.
Due to poor handwriting, you mix up citric acid with picric acid.
Due to poor handwriting, you mix up citric acid with critic acid.
Someone at the KSC suggests implementing LOTO procedures... and is pushed down 15 flights of stairs.
You investigate the performance of a Kerbal-Rich Staged Combustion Cycle.
You switch your waffle irons over to waffle titaniums, so as to more rapidly prepare breakfast at higher heat.
You use de-onion-ized water.
You jump out of a plane using a washing machine as a parachute.
You confuse 10x warp with warp 10.
You perform a trade study on fire suppression systems vs fire oppression systems.
Staging - check. Comms - check. Electric - check. Crew - check. Engineer - unused monopropellant.
You launch a crewed Munar impactor.
Jeb invents the Off-Road Rocket Skateboard.
To cut costs, you fire everyone running your company's forums.
You try using some grapes, cds and crumpled tinfoil in a microwave together with a little oxidiser as rocket fuel. The plasma is mesmerising.
You generate an inverse gellar field.
You use an infinite universe to hard-code the value of π.
You wrap a slice of lemon around a large gold brick and put it on the launch pad.
You mind control a stranded Kerbal to go on EVA and deorbit with their jetpack.
Your trip through the galactic centre will take a while. You should perhaps bring a good book and some tasty snacks.
Miller and Urey Kerman create mystery goo.
You interpret your space agency's stated goal of being more transparent literally.
You ride the particle beam at the Dawn of Kerbalkind.
You move space.
The stagehands rearrange your staging.
After several missed deliveries, you decide to spend all morning floating around in Duna orbit to flag down your parcel.
Jeb climbs the flagpole, allegedly to get a better phone signal but really just for the sake of it.
You experiment with boosters filled with superheated steam rather than conventional propellant.
You set out to remove all the obscure references in Lunchbot's mission database.
You yell your question into the drive-thru speaker: "Is a steam thruster still a cold-gas-thruster‽‽‽"
The protomolecule and the Omega molecule get into a fight.
You successfully add Factorio to KSP as a mod.
You had borne the thousand injuries of Fortunato as best as you could, but when he ventured upon insult you vowed revenge.
You decide to thaw out large quantities of Minmus in an effort to corner the blancmange market.
You reassure your crew by pointing out that statistically, they're far more likely to be killed by their fellow kerbals than by the Kraken.
You attempt to grow Mün sugar.
You try to implement a dating sim in kOS.
You build a planet buster device.
You're going to Moho in the morning, if you live another day; you need the burning skies and all those light-brown highs to chase your Kerbal crews away.
You try to make an emergency flare using one of the countless bicycle frames found on the Mün.
To improve immersion, you swap your mind into KSP and Jeb's into your human body. He finds Earth vehicles very fun to pilot.
You plan to make things up as you go along.
You install an LY-01 landing gear on your craft.
You install a Cherenkov-Nixie clock in the crew cabin for Blue is the color of Hope.
You mistake Gene's current state of joshing gentle peevishness for the awesome and terrible majesty of the towering seas of ire that are themselves the mere milquetoast shallows fringing his vast oceans of wrath.
You crow about your latest mission in Karasu Space Program.
Your scientists finally extract the "always right side up" from kats! You decide to use them on your craft landing legs.
You don't need PPE for this.
You have a dental mishap and begin drafting an apology in Zamibian.
To avoid future crashes you suggest we switch to IU (international units).
You invent the Catalyst Ray Tube and ignite the atmosphere.
When Kerbals sign up for your space program, they give you the right to use whatever procedures are necessary to enhance their spaceflight readiness, and they can't be spaceflight ready if they're dead. It's in the contract.
You venture out into the universe to become the most cynic living being in the Kerbol system.
You send someone claiming to be Elon Kerman a thousand Bitcoins because he promises to pay you back double.
You upgrade all doors in KSC.
You attempt to land on the Mk 1 runway.
You legalize nuclear bombs.
Your engines are tested on Shell Mex Gas Oil, but will run on any of the oils marketed as Diesel Oil, Gas Oil, Diesolite, or Gasoleum, provided that the viscosity does not exceed 40 seconds Redwood No. 1 at 100° Fahrenheit and the oil remains fluid at 200° Fahrenheit. Whether 'Liquid Fuel' meets this specification is unclear.
At first you don't succeed so you try, try again.
You use MechJeb's PVG to fly your aircraft.
Your save file is so old your kerbals have become sentient, and they discover the existence of Hyperedit.
You design a rocket so energetically favourable that atoms realign themselves to form it spontaneously.
Every time a booster explodes, a spaceplane loses its wings. All your boosters explode.
Based on an idea that came to you in a dream, you set out to build a scaffold around the sun. In your dream, it was speculated to be a portal, and also tiny. So you want to build a scaffold around it for a reason that isn't entirely clear to you now but that made perfect sense in the dream so you're rolling with it.
As per usual, you ignore the engineer's report and skip straight to launch.
You instruct Wernher to hold you beer and watch you next action.
You invoke the wrath of Wernher von German.
You attempt to launch terrain into controlled flight.
To save weight/increase your mass ratio, you perform engine-rich staged combustion.
You begin development of Gerbil Space Program.
In a panic... you missteak your vegan staging as Vogon staging, and begin mashing the spacebar as a result of rote experience.
You attempt to use enough low thrust/high efficiency engines on your launch vehicle to achieve TWR>1 through lithoevaporation.
To your horror, it suddenly dawns on you that the countdown has just passed T-3 seconds and you have the Holy Gas Generator of Antioch installed.
You bolt a separatron to an EVA suit, just to see what will happen.
In an attempt to hot-stage, you steal half of a rocket.
you sets out on quest to corect evry spellig and grammer and pfuncktuashion misteak in the missions anf outsomes
After a lengthy and intense gaming session in which many Kerbals shed their mortal coil... You saunter into your dimly lit bedroom and hear a loud "CRUNCH" followed by a shooting pain in the webbing of your toes. An incredulous howl is released as you roughly flick on the light switch.
You fumble for the snooze button on the maneuver alarm clock. What's 5 minutes against the eternity of space and time?
You get into an argument of periapsis.
You set up a competition between Scott Manley and a manly Scot.
You kidnap Matt Lowne and only let him go once he has learned the correct pronunciation of "Mün".
You ride a planet around a star.
You fake a Mun landing, at one of stages. You, however, sourced actual Mun dust for the scene.
As it turns out, you could trade blood for knowledge from blood god. Blood for blood god. You draft mission plan to send rocket with cargo of blood for that trade.
You discover a way to make fuel from lemons, and it is to be used in this mission.
You install a life-support mod.
You set out to make a baker's dozen of rockets.
You find a red double-helix obelisk and decide to take it with you.
Teleportation experiments from Ike to Duna seemed like a good idea.
The Lord of Boosters shall perish, but in his doom he shall spawn a score of kerbal progeny. Chaos will be sown from their passage.
You buy out every major North American dictionary for the sole purpose of fixing their spelling 'mistakes'.
You copy Jeb's mind into a computer and start running off copies. It's cheaper than the vats.
You upload Jeb's mind into some kind of mechanical otter.
You leave writing mission paperwork to LLM.
You commission a programmer from the Flat Kerbin Society to write a linear-tangent steering program for your rocket.
You are a better pilot than a rocket designer. And you're a terrible pilot.
You use radon as propellant because it doesn't need any energy to ionize.
Through the use of nuclear weapons, your country becomes de-capitalized.
Wernher redesigns your fuel tanks to store more than 70 cubic litres each.
The KSC crèche inadvertently obtains chupacabras in place of capybaras for its petting zoo.
You tell the media that you fuel your rockets with repurposed bovine waste in the hopes they will get banned for using bad language in their headlines.
You're sitting in the rocket station, on a missile to your destina-ation, ohohoh...
You attempt to fix chyi's connection.
You build a rocket powered by ejecting abandoned IRC bouncer account servers out of the airlock.
You touch down in the Explodium Sea, get a surface sample, refuel your rocket with Explodium Sea and blast off.
During launch you hear "we're getting a little shimmy, flight".
You weld a Calabi-Yau manifold onto your engine.
Due to the state of the economy, you decide to offer flights for the same price on the same craft but with one booster removed in the hopes that nobody will notice.
To save mass, you switch the mission log to balsa instead of pine.
You translate KSP into Tamarian.
You use kerbpaint and A-class asteroids to make a giant pool table in space.
You put in a bid to launch Lunar Gateway. You put in another bid and another. You keep adding bids to increase your chances of being accepted, but after submitting many more you get nothing but 502 errors on the website.
You set the cheese variety selector to position 2.
You decide to grab the Mün and park it in Ike orbit.
You don't bring enough sacrificial crew members to appease the Kraken.
Holding a mug of coffee, you realize you need to launch a cargo of coffee to space station.
You create mystery goo by playing Indian Lovecall to Kerbal volunteers.
Truly exceptional pilots do not put themselves in situations that require them to use their exceptional skills. Jeb does, though, because it's fun.
Your CO2 scrubbers are downgraded to CO scrubbers.
You take off out to the black, tell 'em you ain't coming back.
Gene questions whether every capsule really needs a Hammond organ for playing Dramatic Space Music.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them... maybe you can hire the K-Team.
In a woeful misunderstanding of engine performance, you electrocute some diamonds.
You send spies to rifle through trash bins of other space program buildings to have mission ideas.
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
You call FLHerne in the middle of the night.
When cutting your thrust you realize your apoapsis sits at 666 666 m
You form The Kerman Show, and set it in Mun base.
You order pizza to your space station.
You cook your dinner on the heat shield
You tell your kerbals to return with their heatshields or on them.
You confuse hurricanes with ethernet cables.
You dissolve C8H20Pb into the liquid fuel to improve the performance of your prop aircraft.
You use your negative C3 to power an Alcubierre drive.
The devs add a cloaking device as a clever trick to solve performance issues and claim an almost infinite increase in FPS.
You loop black papers around the faxs input to output in order to be petty against government disapproval of your project.
Jeb pours a panful of hot water on his jet's windscreen to thaw the ice on it. It shatters.
You attempt to undo a network ban.
Trying to be leet, you design a rocket with 1337 parts.
You attempt to land a rover on the Mun using only a single parachute.
Your craft is so enormous you have to evict a small nation state from one of the fuel stacks.
You come up with a beach themed space launch, and design a shorts version of space suit.
You add massive 500 kerman musical ensemble to add music to space missions, keeping things from getting too... quiet.
You make rocket out of GMO pototo
Someone discovers your secret cloning operation hidden in the cellar of the astronaut complex.
You rent out space for storage.
Taskers had been actioned, but not all of the action items had been tasked, so you workflow the residual untasked actions to the action team to take action to task the remaining actions as taskers and establish a workflow to the production team to take action on the unactioned taskers.
Non-actionable missions have been added to your mission to be finished soon.
Jeb decides your ship must be sacrificed for the greater good.
You dismantle a Kerbal to see how it works.
You give your mission a clickbait title to attract views.
You hastily slow down to 40 km/h and cross over two solid lines to drive onto the Autobahn.
You paint serial numbers on your craft in a fictional alien alphabet just to screw with Bob.
On a whim, you decide to go skiing off the edge of Dres Canyon. You awake in intensive care as your knees attempt to strangle you in your sleep.
The flight computer signals a "Main B Bus Undervolt".
Jebediah Kerman, astronaut. A kerbal barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic kerbal. Jebediah Kerman will be that kerbal. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.
This mission is inspired by true events.
You extract white powder from the leaves of the Baobab tree.
Valentina puts her lunch into her left stomach.
Jeb tries spinning. It's a good trick.
You get fed up with the poor performance of your external thermometer batteries, so you replace them with miniaturised RTGs to keep the entire setup nice and warm.
A Kernerian prince informs you of a valuable rocket that is yours to collect by right, if you agree to pay for shipping and handling.
You merge 10 boosters into a single booster and set up to use it to launch a rocket.
You resolve a range violation by firing your rocket in the direction of the trespassers.
You want to go in fishing trip.. to EVE it is!
You think the kraken's emotional state is its own problem, not yours.
In order to have endless source of hot air to be used as fuel, you add small group of mid-level managers as middle stage. With very nice wooden table and mid-range meeting chairs.
You spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious wrong.
You install the Physics Changer mod and hit "randomize all".
You invent "chips (fries) staging" to appeal to vegetable haters. This involves designing a SRB that gradually consumes itself from the bottom to the top, giving you a 100% fuel-mass ratio.
You craft a craft that is bigger inside than outside.
You overhear someone talking about Dr. Who and think it sounds cool, so you attempt to impress the crowds with a craft that is bigger on the outside than it is on the inside. You're not sure how well you were listening.
You arrive on the Mün, only to discover that Scott Manley has beaten you there.
You discover a way to underflow your budget to negative number, which means unlimited budget!
Pineapple on pizza? No problem. Pineapple on mac n' cheese‽‽ PROBLEM!!!
When they tell you that you will be working under crushing pressure, they did not mean you will have a lot of heavy duties. It is actual crushing Jovian atmosphere.
You score well in the KSC aerobatics contest, but several points are deducted for your lack of sartorial elegance.
Who keeps a cap labeled 'Washable' on a permanent marker? WHO?!
You launch an enormous craft from Kerbin to Eve. Unfortunately, the weather is too windy when you get there so you head back home. The tourists are livid.
Jeb and Val start playing cockpit-circuit-breaker Jenga.
Worried that your engineers are skipping meals, you replace the pi in all their calculations with pie.
A computer can never be held accountable, therefore you arrange for a computer to make all management decisions.
You launch into a polar orbit in an attempt to prove that it is, in fact, turtles all the way down.
You attempt to return from a trip to your mum, but the gravity well is just too deep.
You decide to wait for extraterrestrial intelligence, and start the WETI program.
You grammer wrong.
You don't use correct grammar.
You use Discord as a CDN.
Your research team invents negative weight metal.
The crossbeams are out of skew on the treddle.
You throw a tantrum, because Jeb doesn't want to surrender his sandwich to you.
Bill's bill bills Bill.
You cultivate a reputation as the person who knows everything through the simple expedient of having no social life.
You invent a cure for old age, which has no effect on Kerbal life expectancy at all.
You ponder how philosophically ambiguous it is for a plant-based sentient species to be vegetarian.
You decide to create mission to make farm trees on Mun.
You get your ducks in a column.
You wish to hire geniuses for your space program, but would settle for basic competence in everyday activities.
Since the outcome of Starship has become so much more reliable, you set up a tourism company to watch the explosions.
You are no good at peopling, but unfortunately your current role requires you to people.
You find the bot and its list and try to figure out what all the missions mean.
You are blown up by a big fan.
You modify your brain in order to think more like a Kerbal, the better to predict their actions.
You push a large craft with a very small one. This works fine provided you don't need to stop. Then you try pulling instead.
Your docking is hindered by the Space Pizza.
You recycle your bodily emissions to drinking water and propellant.
You are flying right up to the sky, with an extra large spaceship from the ground, the stars are shining round and round.
Wernher professes to be a professor.
You install turbines in the flame trench.
An alien artefact grants sapience to your pet kat. With its natural arrogance it quickly assumes command of the mission.
You create the Torment Nexus.
You offend Magikarp.
Here lies a toppled craft; its fall was not a small one. You did but build its lander stage, a narrow and a tall one.
You set out to find 5 booyats.
You socket your body armor with JahIstBer.
You throw a large bomb directly at your own feet for maximum Δv.
On a dusty shelf in the back of the KSC library you discover the ancient Koynich Manuscript. Its yellowed pages bear hundreds of bizarre, fantastical yet detailed drawings of spacecraft unlike any known today, described in a complex and unintelligible language.
You attempt to push an asteroid with ion engines.
You decide to leave one of crew behind to jetpack back because they was a minute late on returning.
You send crew to Duna to play D&D.
Crowds flock to see Timothée Kerman, the star of the new sci-fi epic Duna.
You attempt to install a new Japanese-made OS on your ship computer.
You launch into orbit just to enjoy the silence of void.
You take your craft offline for maintenance.
You mod kittens into KSP and Kerbals into KSA.
You are told that using mods is not cheating, so you develop your own mod that permanently activates everything in the ALT+F12 menu.
You move four more stars into the solar system to increase your universal rating.
The object of your mission is to see if you can find any traces of last year's mission.
Jeb flails away with his ineffectual l'il noodle arms.
Bill becomes the first Kerbal ever to rollerblade.
You magnetize your kerbals' boots.
You open The Gate.
You insist upon calling your keyboard 'the control panel', even outside of KSP.
You only pay attention to Isp, how important are those mass ratios anyway?
You are smacked on the bottom by a sassy asteroid.
You confuse gravity waves with gravitational waves.
Your optics are diffraction limited, but you are distraction limited.
Enough with the delays. Full Send!
You modify your immune system to clean up Jeb's junkyard.